I'll Be There
by Kaede Yuki
Summary: Dee's sick... VERY sick. Doctor tells him to stay out trouble. But Dee gets into an accident. How will Ryo take it? Takes place after the series when Ryo moved in with Dee. COMPLETE!
1. I'll Be There

Title: I'll Be There

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n. : Hi...hi...!!! Currently, I'm taking a 'short' break from _Feign_. _I'll Be There_ was written about two months ago. I never thought of posting up this fic. I was just scribbling ideas that popped in my head at that time, - that is why, as you can see, this fic is less elaborate compared to _Feign_. But after being convinced by a friend, who also happens to be my beta-reader, I've decided to post this up although in my opinion, this isn't as good as I'd expected it to be. But anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it and please R&R. I'll be waiting!

* * *

Keys jingled from beyond the door; the soft creaking sound of the door opening ajar echoed the silent apartment as the blond detective stepped in.

"Dee?" he called out but when silence greeted him in return, Ryo's brows creased with a frown on his façade. Executively, he made a beeline towards the globe light despite the darkness that engulfed the apartment he shared with his lover; he had the room layout mapped in his head in precise details that he could be blindfolded and yet, still knew his way around.

As the sphere began to illuminate the room with soft tangerine light, a smile crept on Ryo's face with softened jet black eyes. The serenity that befell upon his possessive raven-haired lover was so endearing that Ryo couldn't bear to break its tranquility.

Tossing his favorite white jacket over a nearby chair, Ryo sat down beside his sleeping lover as he admired every inch of the man's features. The flaxen man reached out a hand and gently brushed aside a strand of dark long fringe that fell out of place. Even under the closed lids, he could still feel the magnetism of his lover's smoke-green eyes, - pulling him closer and closer till the vast distance between them became no more than a small gap.

The rapidity of his heartbeat pounding in his ears was making it harder for him to breathe. He could feel the other man's warmth tingling under his own skin. Distinctive cologne from around the younger man's slender neck with a speck of manly perspiration filled his nostrils as he inhaled every scent that encircled his love. Ryo could feel his cheeks getting warmer and warmer by the second as he drew closer to capture the other man's lips with his, - a soft brush at first contact but as he pressured on, it was as though it had a mind of its own. Ryo dampened his lover's dried lips by licking it with his tongue. He was going to pull back before he woke the man but his thoughts melted away when he found the other responding back. Throughout the time, his lover barely opened an eye; - it was as if he already knew the counterpart at the touch of the lips. A completely harmless kiss became more and more urgent as Dee's tongue darted into Ryo's awaiting cavern and tasted every corner of his lover's warm engulf. The immense attraction towards his dark-haired lover was draining away all his energy until he had to rely on the strength of his arms to support him from collapsing on top of Dee.

"...mmmppphh... Dee... Dee..." Ryo moaned despite how much he tried to resist voicing out his pleasure, as he tried to break away from the kiss.

"Hush... and let me savor this..." Dee replied in return, deepening the kiss with intensity.

"...Dee!... I need..."Ryo never got to finish his sentence when a contaminated thought filled Dee's mind and abruptly, he broke off the kiss to sweep his lover off his feet.

"Why didn't you say earlier?!" Dee demanded with a devilish grin as he got onto his feet.

"Dee! That is not what I meant!!" Ryo shouted furiously out of embarrassment.

"You're so gullible..." Dee teased, turning the knob to their room, "But frankly, I couldn't be more bothered. I'm turned on, baby!! I'm not going to..." He was going to say, "I'm not going to let you have any sleep tonight" when Dee fell onto his knee, nearly dropping Ryo in the process if he hadn't tightened his grip around his lover to secure him from falling.

"Dee?!" Ryo was obviously startled but his thoughts were overwritten with concern when he saw the anguishing, agonizing pain that was written all over Dee's face.

"Dee? What's wrong?" the blond man demanded with fright in his pitch black eyes.

"It's nothing..." Dee struggled to get the words out, "...Love, can ... can you please get me..." he swallowed hard before continuing, "...can you please get me the bottle of painkiller from the kitchen?"

Without further ado, Ryo rushed into the kitchen, rummaged through the first-aid kit for the medicine requested and returned with a white plastic bottle in one hand and a glass of distilled water in the other, within a split second.

Dee barely moved from the spot but the perspiration that drenched his forehead and the paleness of his face was hardly unnoticeable. "Here..." Ryo said, kneeling by his side as he handed the bottle to his lover. Not even taking a minute to think twice, Dee tossed at least five white tablets into his throat and took big gulps of water to wash them down.

"Feeling any better?" the fair-headed detective asked but the slight hint of trembling in his voice did not go unnoticed. A simple nod was all he got in reply.

"Think you can manage all the way to your bed with me as your support?" Ryo asked trying to force a smile.

"Yeah...sure..." He accepted the offer without any rejection, - not that he could even reject. Ryo slipped an arm around the back of his waistline while tossing Dee's other arm around his neck as he practically lifted the man from the cold floor and onto the mattress bed.

Reclining limply on the over-sized bed, Dee tried to smile and reassure his lover that he was fine but the worried look on Ryo's façade had already told him of his lover's skepticism.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ryo asked, breaking the silence that hung awkwardly in the room. Dee contemplated on whether to tell him or not as he chewed on his lower lip.

"Are you going to tell me what is wrong with you?" he waited for a reply but when none came, "At least tell me why you bailed on me this afternoon and requested for half the day off?" Ryo pressured on.

Sighing in defeat, "I had an appointment with the resident doctor this afternoon. But when Mike told me to see a gastroenterologist, I sort of needed some time alone to think..."

"Did Mike tell you what was wrong? Did you go see a specialist?" Ryo showered anxiety on his lovers with questions.

"Mike couldn't verify the problem because it wasn't within his jurisdiction. He did recommend a specialist at the General Hospital, but I didn't go," he admitted, "... I came straight away home afterwards. I thought that it could wait a day or two"

"Dee... you're in so much pain!! How can you take it so negligently?!" tears were brimming in his eyes, clouding the mystifying darkness of his eyes.

Reaching his arms for his lover, Dee pulled Ryo close to his chest as he raked his fingers along Ryo's soft blond hair to calm his petrified lover, "Chill, love. I promise. I'll make an appointment with the specialist tomorrow morning and then, I'll meet up with you for lunch, ok?"

"Don't strain yourself to have lunch with me. You should come home straight after your appointment,"

Closing his eyes with a smile at his lover's thoughtfulness, Dee sighed contentedly, "I had rather have lunch with you than to bore my mind out at home alone. Tell, you what. Why don't we meet up at Mikimoto's for lunch? I know you love the fresh salmons and tempura there..." he said, sounding very suggestively.

It wasn't because he wanted to eat there badly, but it was because of the earnestness of his lover to make him worry less that made his heart flutter and head nod automatically in return. But Ryo couldn't help feeling slight tingling warmth crawling into his heart that Dee remembered how much he loved eating out at that particular restaurant.

"Just promise me one thing, - if you're not feeling up to it, stay home. I don't want anything bad to happen to you," Ryo said sadly, trying to brush away all the negative thoughts that filled his mind.

"One tempura will be readily waiting for your arrival," Dee said, totally ignoring the statement and the nauseous pain in the stomach.

'I'll be there, Ryo. By hook or by crook, ... I'll be there...'

* * *

"Dee, you sure you don't want me to drive you there? You don't look so good," Ryo asked with apprehension while his palm darted straight for Dee's forehead to feel his temperature. He was already running late for work but a nagging feeling in his head had made it more reluctant for him to leave Dee alone. Moreover, Ryo didn't like the color of his lover's face even a bit; it was as though all color had drained, leaving only whiteness equivalent to a piece of copier paper.

"For the hundredth time, I'll be fine on my own, baby. You'd better get going if you're going to beat the traffic and make it in time..." Dee reassured, brushing away the hand on his head gently as he kissed his worried lover on the lips lightly.

"I'm serious, Dee. I can always give the precinct a call; tell them that I'm running a little late. Or I'll ask Ted, Drake, even, J.J., if I must, - to trade shifts with me for today," Ryo knew he was acting rather over-protectively, and if Dee had noticed it, he hardly show any annoyance or agitation owing to that Dee had never liked being treated like a kid, especially not by his lover. Without saying another word, Dee practically ushered Ryo, if not more, - out the door.

"The unit doesn't need another slacker like me, Ryo. They need more of a diligent cop like you. Now, stop wasting time precious time on making up excuses to skip work. That is my area of expertise, not yours," Dee said, flashing his lover a sardonic grin.

Ryo's head fell sideways with a frown, "Now, wouldn't that make Rose's day to know that his no. 1 'elite' officer has other proficiencies," he retorted mockingly.

Wrapping his arms around Ryo so quickly that he nearly startled the other man, Dee pulled his close to his chest, "No. 1 'elite' officer... my...my, such compliments. However, I had much rather think myself as a freeloader, a waste of taxpayer's money. I find that it defines me better. But we wouldn't want Rose to have his day, would we?" he whispered close to Ryo's ears, melting through his ears and into his heart like butter. The blond officer could feel his legs giving away if Dee hadn't held him.

Inhaling the masculine scent of his lover, "No... Dee," Ryo whispered back, "You're not a freeloader; you're not a waste of taxpayer's money. You're more than that... even if the world doesn't recognize it, I will. You are an elite detective; the best of the best... and you are the one and only person I would want to be in love with, to be loved by... Don't you ever forget that..."

Pushing apart a little but hands remained firm around his lover's middle, Dee hovered close to his lover's lips to feel his hot breath caressing his drying lips, "I know, baby... I know... And I love you, too, - now and forever."

Although it was pretty lame and sounded very much like a cliché, the words alone made Ryo's heart overflow with joy. Drawing closer till their lips met, Dee could feel the moisture of his lover's lips against his own. Dee's skillful tongue parted Ryo's lips slightly and advanced into his lover's awaiting cavern to savor the sweetness of his lover that lingered within every nook and cranny. What originally was an innocent kiss left both of them gasping for breath when they finally broke apart.

Straightening his rumpled coat, Ryo looked Dee in the eye with underlying concern, "Promise me that you'll take care of yourself when you're on your own..."

Heaving a sigh, "Ryo, I'm perfectly fine..." he tried to convince the man but Ryo returned a pleading look back at him. Throwing his arms in defeat, "Fine! You win. I promise. But you take care, too. I don't want you to do anything reckless when I'm not there to watch your back, 'kay?"

In a blink of an eye, Ryo's pinky found its way to Dee's, entwining both fingers together like kids making some sort of promise.

"I feel like a kid doing such kiddy stuffs," Dee grumbled.

"I expect you to keep your promise, Dee," Ryo reprimanded sternly with a no-nonsense look on his face.

"Alright already. Now, get going," Dee said, shoving Ryo out the door.

"Ok...ok... I'm going... I'm going..." his lover chanted back as he rushed towards the closing elevator door. Dee watched in amusement but as soon as Ryo was out of sight and he was safe behind the closed door, Dee practically slammed his back against the door. The fake mask tore off immediately, revealing the true agonizing façade beneath it as he clutched his abdomen, the source of the excruciating pain he endured throughout the charade he acted in front of Ryo. He wasn't hiding the truth from Ryo on purpose, but he really didn't want his lover to worry anymore than he already has.

Forcing his legs to stand, 'I'll go meet the specialist today and I'll make it to have lunch with Ryo in the afternoon, even if it kills me.' He made a promise to himself as he regained his composure despite the amplifying pain that making every step impossible. It was as though his legs were glued to the floor.

* * *

But when he finally got there, he'd almost wished he hadn't.

"Mr. Laytner, I suspect that you might have contracted an atrophic gastritis, though I cannot be a hundred percent sure until the tests return from the lab. What I can tell you for sure is that you have an inflammation of the lining of the stomach and it is serious. Even before the result is out, I would seriously advise you to cut down on alcohol and cigarettes, - alcohol in particular. Your stomach is badly abused with alcoholic beverages. Cutting back is the mildest restriction, owing to the fact that the likes of you WILL NOT be able to hold back the urge..." counseled the gastroenterologist, a Russian beauty with a heavy English accent by the name of Dr. Emmelina Sergei, emphasizing heavily on the gravity of the matter.

"Old habits die hard," Dee tried to crack up his usually mischief but found himself sounding very lame. His mind could hardly function properly after digesting the whole lot of information the doctor fed him.

Ignoring his earlier statement, "Well, Mr. Laytner, I expect to see you on regular basis for check-ups. If the inflammation is left untreated, you have a higher risk of developing stomach cancer. I hope you understand the circumstances,"

Totally lost in his own thoughts, "Yeah...sure..." he replied blandly. His mind tried to register every word said but nothing seemed to be able to break into his trains of thoughts. The pressure of breaking the news to Ryo about his condition alone seemed to weigh more than anything else on his shoulders.

Getting up from his seat, he needed out so badly that it was apparent to the petite doctor of his motives. "Mr. Laytner, I know it is not easy to cope up with such pain alone. Hence, I would suggest that you inform your family and your superiors about your current health condition, so that they will lessen your workload and be able to help you. You might not know when a helping hand would come in handy," suggested the good doctor.

"My family...?" he repeated with a saddened expression. 'Haven't got one. Unless of course, if it's Penguin. But telling her would make her worry more than she already had. And the last person I ever want to confront this matter with, is Ryo. How am I supposed to tell him that some soreness in my stomach is actually eating me alive?'

"I must warn you beforehand, Mr. Laytner. You have a serious case of anemia. Light-headedness will overwhelm you unceremoniously, and there is no telling when you will fall unconscious. Therefore, as your doctor, I must advise you not to drive unless it is absolutely necessary. If you should ever feel fatigue while driving, please pull over by the roadside. Call someone to fetch you or call a cab. Just don't drive. The last thing I expect from you, Mr. Laytner, - is _you_ lying motionlessly in ER. I know of your profession and I am very well aware of the danger that comes with it. So, please heed my advice."

Dee was standing by the door when those grave words pierced their way into his heart. He knew of the risks better than anyone but the words she said seemed to weigh more. It was the first time he felt the pressure of his job.

Turning his head slightly to his left, from the corner of his eyes he stole a glance at the steadfast gastroenterologist as a sign of his acknowledgement towards the counsel she gave. But not even a word of thank was said when he left the office.

Slipping into the driver seat, Dee could actually feel the pain shifting in his system as he hurled forward, his head was practically pressed against the steering wheels with agony. Beads of sweat trickled down his knitted brows in futile attempts to suppress the throbbing pain in his stomach.

'God!' he mentally noted exasperatingly, 'Why on Earth are you making my life a living hell when I finally got everything I ever wanted in life?'

Forcing his spinal cord to pull his body back into a proper sitting position, Dee started the ignition and tried to ignore the pain by focusing his attention on the road. After all, it was going to be at least half an hour's drive to Mikimoto's, - he might as well make full use of the time conjuring some good ideas on how to break the news to Ryo without having him overreacting in public.

* * *

"Yo, Ryo. What are you still doing here?" Drake asked as he scarf down his long-awaited 'breakfast'.

Bobbing his head out of the pile of files around his desk, "... huh?... You said something, Drake?" the blond detective asked innocently.

"Yeah..." replied his fellow colleague carelessly, "I was just asking why are you still here?"

"I still have some paperwork that needs to be done by noon... and I have to run by Commissioner's office later to drop off some files..."he rambled on until reality kicked in, "God!" Ryo exclaimed out loud, nearly startled the rest of the members in the unit, "What time is it?!" the blond officer practically demanded.

"Take a good look at the clock, Ryo. You've been working non-stop since this morning and it's already one. If your lunch date with Dee is still on, I suggest you had better flip the siren to clear the way for you to get there in fifteen minutes tops," Ted added as he handed a black file labeled Classified on its cover, but Ryo was too much in a hurry to take note, though he and Dee was very much involved in the case and pretty much the rest of the members in their unit as well. After all, it wasn't everyday they get concrete evidences to pinpoint a filthy rich drug-trafficking, prostitute trader and most likely the mastermind of an organized crime like Kyle Tristan to life imprisonment. He was the top of Dee and Ryo's list of the most wanted after Leo Grant died half a year ago.

That was why Dee couldn't be more pleased to hear over the radio that they had Tristan on the run when he stepped out of Mikimoto's to check what's keeping his lover. Assuming that that was the reason to why Ryo could not make it, Dee silently sighed in relieved. After waiting for a whole hour, it wasn't hard picturing Ryo in a catastrophic road accident. But when reality hit him on the head, Dee was practically perspiring cold sweats down his back on account of his lover's impulsiveness even though he was the cool-headed one between them.

'What if Ryo's sedan had a collision with whatever vehicle that bastard's driving while he was on the chase? What if Ryo's engaged in a shoot out with Tristan?!! Who's going to cover his back?!!' frantic ideas came to mind as he started the ignition and without much contemplation, he sped off down the familiar highway where the squad had Tristan on the chase.

With Dee's reckless driving skills, it was possible for him to join in the chase half the time need by others to arrive from the suburban area where Mikimoto's resided. Drake and J.J.'s squad car was the first to spot Dee at the scene.

"Dee-sempai!!" J.J. squealed over the radio. Dee winced.

Roughly snatching the speaker from its holster, "Drake!! Put some restrain on him, will ya?! I'll be deaf by the time I reach forty if this keeps up!"

"Meanie!" Dee could mentally picture J.J. pouting in the other car. Sounds of ruffling filled his end before Ted's voice came through, "Dee!..."

"Yo, Ted. What, Drake got tired of J.J.'s clinginess and you so kind-heatedly took in the parasite?" Dee joked over the radio.

"Dee-sempai!! I am NOT a PARASITE!!" J.J. protested in the background.

Dee laughed so hard that he was forced to remember his illness when pain returned to his abused stomach.

His car jerked off the lane causing angered honks from vehicles that he startled.

"Yo, Dee. Are you okay?" Ted's voice returned to the communicator.

"Yeah…" he replied gruffly as he bit his lower lips to suppress the pain from taking over his mentality. 'Yeah, Ted… If you only see me now, you'll know that I'm 'okay'…' he thought sarcastically.

"By the way, where's Ryo?" Dee forced his voice to sound as natural as his pain would allow him.

"Ryo? I thought he was with you. He left just before we got the call on this chase. Weren't you guys supposed to have lunch together?" Ted asked quizzically.

'Good. He's not here. If he were to see me swerve off the road,… I don't want to start imagining the lectures I'll be receiving when we get home…'

But as pain intensified, Dee's eyes began to blur. Though he blinked a few times to clear off, he can't ignore the endeavoring darkness that was devouring his sight.

Slapping himself hard on the cheek, Dee tried so hard not to give into his lightheadedness. In his subliminal state, his foot on the accelerator began to add pressure on the pedal causing the car to go beyond its regular limitations.

And before he knew it, his car rammed into a cargo truck. Within the few minutes of conscious Dee contemplated which hurt more, - his stomach or his entire body crushed under the weight of his car.

'That Russian doc's not going to like this…' smiling painfully at that thought, '… I'm willing to bet that once she finds out about this, she's going to say, "I told you so"…'

Fits of cough seized him but he couldn't be more bother even if he spat blood in the process. He was half-heartedly aware that not only did he have external injuries but he had this hunch that he had punctured his already abused stomach when a metal rod from the cargo truck thrust through his body.

Picking up his right pinky, "Ryo… I'm sorry I broke my promise…" he voiced out loud although he knew that each time he spoke, his entire system was crying out in pain,"…w-w…will… will you forgive … me…?" his voice trailed as he faded into endless oblivion.

Ted and J.J. who watched the whole thing unveil before their eyes, was horrified as Ted swiveled the car to a halt just a good distant from the accident spot.

"Dee-sempai!!!" J.J. cried out as he rushed out the car and towards what was once Dee's prized vehicle.

"Dee-sempai!!" he gasped at the sight of Dee's sorry state.

"J.J. step aside!" Ted ordered as he came soon after with a crowbar in his hand. With all his strength, he tried to yank Dee's crumpled door open but to no avail.

"J.J.!! Call the fire brigade and the ambulance!! Now!!!" Ted shouted back at his stunned colleague as he continued relentlessly trying to open Dee's side of the door. Ted tried so hard to focus on his unconscious colleague who looked as thought he spend the last ten minutes in a blood bath. He could see the pole poking through Dee's abdomen but his body trembled at the thought of the rod's depth in his friend's body.

"Dee, don't you fuckin' dare die on me!!" Ted shouted out of frustration.

2nd a.n. : This story is going to be alot shorter than_ Feign, _probably two chapters only, - depending on the response of the reader (That means _YOU_!! ) So, review and tell me how you want the story to be, - whether Dee remains in a coma, Dee dies, Dee wakes up, or Dee dies and Ryo follows? You tell me. And please tell me which you think is a better fic, - _Feign _or _I'll Be There?_ Love ya guys lots!! v


	2. Let Me Be Free Revised

Title: I'll Be There - **_Let Me Be Free_**

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n.: Okay, people... Gomen...Gomen...Gomenasai, minna-san! I honestly feel guilty for not updating soon but I was caught up with some of my college assignments and lately, I've got to finish up my final year project. So, after updating this fic and the conclusion...yes, conclusion for this fic in the following chapter, I will have to halt all writings until late June, - that's when my assignments and projects are due and I've finished my exams. So, please wait for me, okay? And once again...I'm really, really, really, really sorry for the delay. Gomenasai. Anyway, on with the story...

* * *

How many times had he traveled down this dreadfully familiar institutional white hallway? Countless. Here on investigation basis to interrogate, here on visitation... Ryo had long lost count on those times. But recollecting on past events, not once had he patronized the hospital over a happy occasion. It was either business or personal. But only personal affairs could make his heart wrenched in both anxiety and apprehension, if not more. The flaxen detective was physically shivering and trembling legs painstakingly supported his entire weight. In his mind crossed the worst thing that could possibly happen to his lover, bracing himself of might be worst of the lot. But nothing could prepare him for the sight before his eyes.

Ted was painted with crimson red all over his body as though he just had a blood bath; J.J bore weariness in his eyes and dried trails of tears that streaked across his face not long ago; Drake had to lean against the wall to support his slumping body. All of them looked as though they had gone through a rancorous war and came back half-dead like mindless mummies, - except for maybe there weren't any bandages binding them. But as he approached those languid men, their reluctance to look at him in the eye made Ryo's chest constrict so tight that breathing was becoming a problem.

"Ted...?" he called out with tremor in his voice but Ted only turned his head further away from Ryo.

"Drake..." desperateness lingered in his voice. Ryo held his breath for a moment as Drake slowly turned his head in his direction, but all the chestnut blond detective could see was emptiness in the man's eyes.

Ryo clenched his eyes shut as he silently prayed, 'God, don't let anything happen to him...'

As he dragged his feet towards J.J. who sat at the far end of the bench, Ryo was losing his composure when he saw J.J.'s face. Although his face was devoid of emotions, his eyes reflected otherwise. It was as though they were begging for the restrained tears to be released but earlier on he cried so much that his eyes could no longer produce tears for him to cry.

And seeing the morbidity cast upon his fellow colleagues, Ryo could only deny the pain in his chest that derived from the breaking of his heart.

'God...please don't do this to me...' he silently prayed as he ditched the men to wallow in despair. His sane mind refused to acknowledge the implicit meaning of the absence of his dark-haired lover. He will not concede to anything until he sees Dee for himself.

But each step he took, no matter how fast his legs brought him, the distance that stood in his way from reaching to Dee only grew further apart. It felt as though he had walked a whole mile and yet, he was no where near Dee's operation room. Even from afar, the light above the twin-fold doors were still visibly glowing, - indicating that the surgery was still on; that Dee was still in there fighting for his life.

'Tap...tap...' rhythmic pace of running resonated against the stillness within the hallway of the institutional white building. From the distance of one step to another, it wasn't difficult to judge the speed he was going at. The faster his legs carried him, the more impatient he grew.

From mere whispers...

"Dee..."

Louder they grew...

"Dee!..."

Till he was at his limits, Ryo finally shouted his lover's name

"DEE!"

in vain hope to close the distance between them...

Gasping for quick, short breaths, Ryo began to decelerate till he came as close as to an arm's length from the door. But as he reached to graze his fingers against the white lacquered-door, he could only retract his fingers to ball a fist powered by the overwhelming frustration and anger.

He was so close, yet so far...

* * *

167 hours, 49 minutes, and 27 seconds has past. Only 10 minutes and 33 seconds left before the day would be over, marking the seventh day Dee has been in the state of comatose, a whole week after the incident. But still, no signs of the raven-haired detective waking any time soon. Day in, day out, Ryo would walk, if not drag his jaded body into the ICU where his lover laid motionlessly. For three days consecutively, he had been working his ass off the first two shifts, and would have gone through with the third, if Drake and Ted hadn't practically pry the man off his desk.

Nevertheless, the moment he stepped into Dee's private ward, the flaxen detective would put up his brightest smile so that if his dark-haired lover was awaken from his long slumber, the first thing he would see would be his smile warmly welcoming him back to the land of the living. That was the least he could do for the man.

And today wasn't going to be any different.

Pulling up a chair, Ryo sat down by the bedside as he reached out to caress his fingers against the back of his lover's palm.

"Hey, there..." the half-Japanese detective greeted with fake enthusiasm, - hints of melancholy lingered in his voice.

In his head, there were playbacks of Dee greeting him in return, flashing his trademark grin. And every time he would reach out his hands to embrace the man only to hold onto nothingness. When delusion fades and reality returns, all he could see in those pitch black eyes was a man, a sleeping man whose face was as pale as a copier paper, complemented with the white bedspreads that engulfed his body.

They said that words spoken to the person in coma could be heard. But if so, why didn't Dee wake up to Ryo's pleas? Why does the world around them mute at times when sounds were desperately needed?

Silent replies were both comforting as well as unnerving. The annoying beeping sound of the heart monitor wasn't any better. The dragging silence subsequent to a staccato beep reminded Ryo of the endless hours Dee remained asleep. It felt like a century has passed but only a minute was gone; it felt like forever has gone by but only an hour of a day bade them goodbye. At the same time, the strings of beeps were the only thing in this world that reassured the flaxen detective that his lover was still alive and breathing.

Tears brimmed on the verge of the flaxen man's eyes, threatening to spill at the slightest pressure of emotions.

'You promised, Dee... You promised me that you would take care of yourself... You promised! Damnit! Why did you have to be so reckless! You should have stayed at home... I should have made you stay at home. It's my fault... If I had been more insistent, unrelenting... probably you wouldn't be right here, right now. What an idiot, I've been!'

"Dee..." he whispered inaudibly as a single tear managed to slip past the confinement and splattered onto Dee's hand, "...I'm sorry..."

"Whatever for...?" replied a voice, soft but raspy. Startled by the unexpected reply, it took Ryo a split second to realize whose voice it belonged to.

"Dee! Oh, my God! You're awake!" Ryo cried ecstatically with joy as he threw himself onto Dee's body, not really caring if he was crushing the man under his weight. The sense of relieve was simply overwhelming.

"Oh, my God, Dee..." he said, breathlessly, "You have no idea how long I've prayed to God for this to happen... You have no idea how afraid I was when I realized that I nearly lose you... I prayed so hard for God not to take you from me..."

"...And your prayers were answered..." Dee interrupted with the oxygen mask still strapped to his face. In vain effort, his feeble hand tried to pull away the mask. Upon catching sight of his lover's attempt, Ryo promptly assisted the man by casting the mask to rest against his lover's collarbone.

"I think... God felt that it wasn't my time yet... that it was too soon for me to join him up there. But ... someday...someday I will join the Lord and His saints up there..." the midnight-haired detective whispered softly, but Ryo heard him, nonetheless.

"Dee!" Ryo reprimanded in exclamation, "Don't you dare say such nonsense! Do you hear me!" Partially distraught by the volume of gravity held in his voice, partially shocked by the words said. It was almost as though Dee woke up a different man.

Chuckling under such arduous circumstances, Dee inhaled deeply before exhaling the air out of his lung through his dry throat. He winced a little at the searing pain of air rushing through his burning lungs. But he managed to mask his pain well under a smiling façade.

"Just for the record, ... how long have I been asleep?" he asked, changing the subject to something more lighthearted.

* * *

Hoping her eyes were playing tricks with her mind, hoping that it was merely a figment of her imaginations but the words on the report did not go away. 

"How could I have missed it?" Emmelina cursed under her breath as she stormed out of her office, down the hallway and into Dee's ward.

"Mr. Laytner..." she greeted breathlessly, upon barging into the man's room.

Seated with his back leaning against the headboard, the dark-haired detective smiled amiably as he greeted the doctor, "Yo, doc."

"Mr. Laytner...we need to talk," she began as she strode over to the man's bed.

Dee did not question her, nor did he make any implications of curiosity towards the matter to be spoken. His façade remained as it was when she entered the room, - which was unnervingly calm.

"Your report just came out..." a short hesitation followed, "... you have contracted a stomach cancer..."

Waiting for some sort of denial or exclamation or a reaction of any kind, Emmelina braced herself to witness another man breakdown. All her life as a doctor, she has seen tons of man, brawny or scrawny, - breaking down into endless sobs when they were told that they were dying. But the much anticipated response did not come.

"Mr. Laytner...?" Emmelina approached cautiously, wondering if the man was too overwhelmed by shock to show any kind of emotions. But instead, she got the same calm expression.

"I know..." he replied.

"No, I don't think you get what I mean, Mr. Laytner. You have a chronic case of stomach cancer!" she emphasized strongly, hoping that the man would realize that he has got only weeks to live.

"I know..." he replied the exact words again, as though he was programmed to say them.

Annoyed by the man's indifference towards the gravity of the matter, "Mr. Laytner, if you think that you still have years to live, I can assure you that you don't. Forgive me for being so blunt but you have only months to live, - three months to be exact."

"Three months? That was longer than expected..." Dee finally responded, but the emotions were all wrong.

"Mr. Laytner! Do you even understand your situation here!"

A rather sad smile graced the man's lips as he took out a white handkerchief, - a white handkerchief that was painted bright red and grounded-coffee color of blood.

"Jesus!" Emmelina exclaimed as she drew out her stethoscope from the pocket. Dee hissed softly against the coldness of the piece of metal against his chest.

"Why didn't you call for a nurse!" reprimanded the good doctor.

Shrugging carelessly, Dee replied, "Didn't feel that there was a need for their presence."

Appalled by the man's reply, "What do you mean by that! Have you no concern for your own health?"

"I don't think that it has anything to do with concern. I just don't feel like bothering anyone. I don't want to be a burden, doc."

"Mr. Laytner, you are sick. You need help."

"I'm not sick, doc. I'm dying. And the last thing I need is to burden the people around me. I don't need to be treated like some sick puppy. I just want to live the remaining days of my life as how I have lived in the past. We will accept this as though nothing has happened."

"Accept this as though nothing has happened!" she exclaimed and widened her eyes at the man as though he has told her that he had seen Christ.

"I thought that you were just sick in the stomach. But now I think you're sick in the head as well. Do you have any idea what are you talking about? Are you even sane enough to understand yourself?" she added with a slight hysteric notch in her voice.

"I may be dying, but I'm no looney, doc," Dee retorted sarcastically.

"I have my suspicions, Mr. Laytner. For all you know, I might send you in for a MRI scan."

Dee let out a hearty chuckle. "You're sense of humor is admirable, doc."

Sighing in defeat, Emmelina has given up on talking any sense into the man, "Do you want us to inform your family or close relations?"

Pondering on the question for a moment while letting his eyes wonder past the doctor and out the window, "I'm an orphan. Ain't got no mom, ain't got no dad. Got abandon when I was still a month's old."

A simple, "Oh..." was all the good doctor could do to respond to his statement. Plainly because he didn't look like the man who deprived of parent's love.

A sudden fits of cough seized the dark-haired man as the man hunched his shoulders forward with the same piece of handkerchief over his mouth.

At one point when the cough reached to the point of gagging, crimson liquid escaped his mouth and onto the piece of cloth but a few drops managed to seep past and fell onto the white bedspreads. If it weren't for such a morbid reason, it would have been such a beautiful sight; - like roses in a bed of snow.

"Mr. Laytner! I'll have you admitted into the ICU unit, stat." But before she could even leave the room, the midnight-haired detective caught her on the wrist.

"Doc, I know you mean well. But..." a short fit intervened, "...I don't want to waste my time in here. If you really want to help me, help me by signing my release form," Dee said pleadingly with desperation in his voice.

"But..."

"No buts, doc. Keeping me caged in here wouldn't change the fact that I'm dying. I'm a free spirit. I cannot be bound. So, if you really want to make the remaining days of my life the best days of my life, then ... let me be free..."

* * *

a.n. 2: Okay, accreditations to all the 30 reviewers who reviewed _I'll Be There_

Starting from latest:

westkitsune-san: okay... I believe this is also a cliffhanger...hehe... - grinning evilly -Sorry, it's the only thing I can take advantage of, - being the author. It's my job to keep you reading!

darkangel-san: I'm really thankful for the support because not many of the reviewers are fond of Dee dying...I wonder why...?

Shirubaa Kitsune-san:...okay...there's definitely a lot of kitsunes in FF...urm... you know, I should also state above that the reason why I was late in delivering this chapter is because Shirubaa-san's wolfs ate me for dinner...Just kidding! Thanks for the support. But really, don't hate me, please. At least I didn't make Dee die in the car accident, right? being hopeful

Crysania Fay-san: I have to apologize for the delay. But like I've stated above, I had a lot going on in college that I have to prioritize over writing. I'm really sorry for the delay.

QueenCria-sama: Now that Dee has woke up, is there anymore request?

sakura blossoms4-san: Updated! But I'm really sorry for the delay.

NightShadow131-san: Your review kinda sounds like how I review others' works...hmm... they say great minds think alike... Anyway, Dee is not dead, - yet. And all those shoulds... well, if we had known the future, we would do anything in our powers to prevent catastrophes from happening, but life isn't like that. It's because we don't know the future that is why we have to treasure the things and people around us before it's too late.

inuficcrzy-san: I know...

darkess-san: Thank you for liking my fic.

Tsuki Shizuka Yuuki-san: Thanks for your compliment, but really after reading this chapter, do still really think that it's a super-great story (wow, that's kinda lot of emphasis there)? creasing my brows ...okay, so I won't kill him in the car accident. But even if Dee has to die in the end of my story, will you still read my fic?

tori789-san: Sorry to leave you hanging there for so long. But things happened, so it can't be help. I will try to end this within this week. Or not, it will be until late June before the next chapter. I'll try to get it done. But to be frank, I've taken ill as of late and I can't really think straight. Medications are infiltrating my mind...

amber-smith992-san: okay, if you're lucky, I'll end this fic this weekend itself. But serious, don't expect too much. Read the feedback above; you'll probably understand.

Michelle-san: I know everyone is waiting. But here's something for all of you, check my comment at the bottom of this page. I don't only write fanfics. I write originals as well. But the original is also not done. I've not touch and will not be touching the story until late of June. So, please be patient.

Sharon-san: Um...sorry? I think that is what I can offer as I am a person who is aiming to write a tear-jerker. So, thank you and sorry that it has to be this way.

Anna-san: Well, Dee woke up as promised. But as for Dee dying... I think by now you've got a clear picture of the story flow.

Vivian-san: Thank you Vivian-san for your ideas. I have contemplated that at the beginning, but there are a lot of these stories archived in FF. I'm aiming for something slightly different. Anyway, thanks for your thought.

Shiro no yuki-san: Thank you for your support! You are sure one understanding reader! But I must apologize for the late update. Sorry.

Naruto-senpai-san: I'm really sorry that it offended you when I referred Ryo as 'love'. But as much as I like Dee, I don't know much about that man. And if this chapter he goes out of character again, you've got to forgive me for my lack of knowledge...

Mystic-angel5-san/Jaimy-san: Thanks for the support. And I'm really sorry for the late update.

Clari chan-san: Well, looks like you get what you want! Anyway, I hope you like them. And sorry if the chapter is a bit short. I haven't got the time to write lately...

Firgodes7-san: Maybe you would like to take a look at my other works. Scan all the way to the bottom of the page. There you'll find directions to my original.

Oni-san: I've only got one thing to say, - gomenasai.

Devil666sc: I've really got no idea what got everyone into reading this fic, but I'm really glad it did. I know I'm a little late on updates and all I can give in return is my sincerest apology. I didn't paralyze the man, but I did make him sick, so is that taken into account?

Kitty in the Box-san: You've not only reviewed for I'll Be There, you've also reviewed for Feign. A huge thanks for your support. Thanx! But you'll probably have to bribe me with something other than a trip because I must apologize, I have no idea what is a shabu-shabu restaurant...

Firechibi-san: Thank you for your support! I will keep up after I've finished with all my stuffs in college.

DON'T STOP: Caitlin-chan, I know it's you so, I'll stop using the nickname. Finally, I've updated. Oh, by the way, did you receive my mail? Write to me when you have the time, okay?

Muyoluv20-san: Why is everyone so aggressive? Anyway, I've continued now and I'll probably end it soon.

Phoenix-san: Detailed? You've gotta be kidding! This is the most un-detailed story I've written! But I don't know why everyone likes it. But that doesn't mean I'm not glad everyone did. Anyway, thanks for reviewing.

Katastrophic88-san: Again...Is the story that detailed? Maybe I'm the only who feels that it isn't but as long as you like it, I'll keep it that way.

XZanayu-san: Thank you again for reviewing not only for I'll Be There but for Feign as well. And probably there are people like you, who makes us...or probably just me, - to write more and even better than before. Thank you.

* * *

Okay, that was a lot of reviews to reply, but I'm really grateful for your thoughts and feedbacks. Thank you once again. And for those whom I've mentioned about an original, - yes, I do write originals. In fact, I started off as an original writer but most of my earlier works were not published/posted. But I've finally got one posted on - Out of Time. Warning! It is rated as NC-17 hence there are explicit scenes there. No obligations if you cannot handle it.

My personalized URL:

**http**(colon)(slash)(slash)**www**(dot)**fictionpress**(dot)**com**(slash)(the twirlly-looking sign above the QWERTY alphabets and I think is generally next to the number one below the function keys)**kaedeyukiyukiya**

Or, go to search and type _Kaede Yuki Yukiya_ into the keyword column in search of Author by Pen Name. It should be the 50th on the list.

Or, go to search and type Out of Time into the keyword column in search of Story by Title (Search: Fiction - Manga). It should be the only one on the list.

It may look like I'm promoting my own fic, but seriously, if you are looking for something more in depth, Out of Time would be the one.

Anyway, have fun! Thank you for reviewing and reading I'll Be There. Keep those reviews coming!


	3. Revelation

Title: I'll Be There - _**Revelation**_

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n.: Okay... I think I've updated within the promised time period. I'm really sorry though for not being able to update sooner. But I apologize in advance if there is anything wrong spelling or such in this fic because this chapter is un-beta-ed. I just wrote this late night and early this morning. I haven't got timeto give it to my beta-reader for checking. So, gomen. Okay, I'll cut the crap and on with the story.

_P/s: Okay, I think I have some explanation to do. So of you might have read the earlier version of the second chapter which says that Deee has peptic ulcer. Well, after further researching I think peptic ulcer is not dramatic enough so, I've changed it to stomach cancer. I'm sorry for the inconveniences. _

* * *

"Dee…" started the ash blond detective as his back pushed the door to the office he shared with his partner and let himself in without taking his pitch black eyes off the file he was reading, "…Chief wants us in his office…" But when no reply or whatsoever came in return, words just faded into his mouth. 

With minor reluctance and major annoyance, Ryo tore his eyes from the papers and painstakingly scanned every corner of their office for any sign of his partner. The intensity in those midnight orbs softened with apprehension as a sad frown graced his gorgeous features.

"Dee…" whispering the name of his partner-cum-lover, it never occurred to the man how easy it was for the name to roll off the tip of his tongue. It was like his lover's name was an everyday word in his life.

But lately, the flaxen detective couldn't help but to feel neglected, or maybe neglect wasn't the right word to describe Dee's frequent disappearance act. It was more like the man was avoiding him. And as to for what were the reasons, only God could tell. Calling his name so often only to meet the shadow of what was meant to be Dee, - has left Ryo feeling empty to the pit of his stomach.

"He's missing _again_, I presume?" Drake inquired as he passed the detective on his way down the hallway, without failing to stress the absence of a particular detective for more than once in a day. And to think that Dee's AWOL record for the day was improving since Drake has only seen Ryo sighing exasperatedly thrice in today, - how wrong he was; now he knew.

"Don't even get me started…" groaned the blond detective as he entered his office and sat down unceremoniously onto his chair while the other detective followed suit and sat across on an unoccupied chair.

"What did he do this time?"

"Nothing! He did frickin' nothing!" Ryo bellowed in fury with his eyebrows intensely furrowed together.

"He did nothing?" Drake repeated skeptically, "So, that is why you're so pissed like a PMS-ing bitch?"

Ryo murderously glared at the man only to be replied with fits of laughter.

"Okay…okay…I get the message. It's not something to joke about…" Drake ceased laughing almost instantaneous, "But seriously, Ryo…What do you want him to do?"

Taken slightly aback by the query, it never occurred what Ryo wanted his lover to do other than it was darn frustrating when he did nothing. And when Ryo meant nothing, he really meant nothing. No sex, no flirt, not even a petty attempt to steal kisses from him during shifts, NOTHING, ZILCH…NOTHING!

"I don't know!" replied the flaxen detective irritably, "All I know is that Dee has been acting strange lately…"

"Very un-Dee like?" supplemented the latter.

"My point exactly!"

Catching a sight of something interesting from the corner of his eyes, Drake peered over the blond detective's shoulders. "Well, then…why don't you ask the man yourself?" he said, indicating the man to look behind him.

Ryo almost snapped his head when he abruptly turned to look behind. He was going to shout at the man, he was going to reprimand the man like a father would to a daughter who stayed out all night. But somehow, those words that meant to came out harshly melted into soft whispers of anxiety, "Dee…where have you been?"

Looking up to meet the worried gaze of his half-Japanese partner, Dee felt as though two tons of brick has fell into the pits of his stomach, but unwaveringly held his smiling mask well in place to dither his lover's forlorn thoughts from becoming verbal.

"Got caught up with something. Why? Is something up?" asked the raven-haired detective casually as he made a beeline to his desk.

"Dee…" Ryo started but was crudely interrupted by Drake.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Chief wants the both of you to take the rest of the day off," Drake said with an awfully uncanny smile. And Ryo could only gape at him.

"If this is some April Fool's joke, you're late by four months. But it would really make my day if it was true… if only it true. So, unless the ol' badger croaks anytime soon, - which he won't, don't come telling me that he's giving us the time of our lives…" Dee retorted with a lackadaisical attitude as he flopped down onto his chair. But the absence of his trademark grin did not go unnoticed by his blond lover.

"Aww… come on, Dee. The chief knows how much you need a rest…" added the former, trying to convince a man who refused to believe in the unexpected. Dee wouldn't even call it a miracle since he had to grovel and beg the chief just to go on a holiday with Ryo. So, no. Dee refused to be blinded by the unfounded.

"Drake, I had three weeks of sleep during my stay in the hospital. I had more than enough share of rest. And since the doctor okayed my release, I don't see a reason as to why I need further time off work."

Sighing exasperatedly, "Okay, I give up. What do I have to do to make you leave?" Drake asked in defeat.

"Why!" Dee asked in return with an incredulous look on his face.

Rolling his eyes, "Because, if you don't explain to your lover-boy there about your latest fascination to be the next Houdini, he's going to snap. And when that happens, I don't want to be anywhere near that man," Drake pointed out bluntly, but was burning on the back where Ryo was glaring at him.

Alternating his glances from his colleague to his lover, Dee exhaled sharply before digging around his drawer for his wallet.

"Point taken. Drake, fill in the third shift for us. I'll trade in for your first shift tomorrow," said the midnight-haired detective as he continued rummaging around for his things.

"You! First shift? Think you'll be able to make it back here at 9?" commented his fellow colleague skeptically.

"So, you want to work through first shift as well?"

"No offense, Dee. But you sleep like a log. Even if Armageddon hits tomorrow, you wouldn't even stir from your sleep."

"Funny that you should mention. I wouldn't even know whether there would be a tomorrow for me." Dee whispered inaudibly as he harshly grabbed his coat that was casually thrown onto the neighboring seat.

"Come on, Ryo. All of a sudden I feel like throwing a few hoops in the neighborhood court," he added as he walked over and grabbed the other man's brown coat off the chair.

"Hoops?" Ryo repeated dubiously but before the words could sink into his comprehension, the blond detective was dragged through the door and out of the precinct.

* * *

In between two dreary-looking building located within a rundown neighborhood, - was an open court where not many would pay patron unless they have some kind of death-wish to be mugged, murdered or probably raped. Nevertheless, the thought of either possibility happening was unfathomable by the dark-haired detective, - though his partner was rather apprehensive and agitated. 

"Dee…" Ryo tried to talk to his lover, but the other man seemed to be too engrossed in his solo game of basketball…Or the fact that Dee was obviously disregarding his presence and instead, adverts all his attention on the tedious game.

The very thought of Dee ignoring him, made the half-Japanese detective's blood boil under his fair skin.

Raising his voice, making sure that his midnight-haired lover heard him this time, "If you feel responsible for what Drake said, then I'm **_sorry_** for being the forcing you to come with me! So, go back to doing whatever shit you were doing before! Go back and play your foolish disappearing act. Because you know what? I no longer want to give a damn!" Ryo shouted as he stormed in the general direction of their patrol car.

Who could blame the man for being this infuriated? After all, he didn't leave his work so that he would have to spend one frickin' hour standing around idly while his partner continued his charade as though he wasn't there at all! If he didn't know better, he would have the assumption that the stupid orange ball his lover was bouncing around the court has more appeal that he does!

"Dee no baka…" he muttered inaudibly to himself out of anger as the back of his hand wiped off the stubborn tears that were cascading down his burning cheeks.

"Ryo!" he heard the smoke green-eyed detective calling out for him. But his dignity declined his wish to stop for the other.

"Ryo! Wait!" catching up to his enraged lover, Dee managed to catch hold of the other man's arm, - preventing him from fleeing any further than he already has.

"Look, I'm sorry…" But before the dark-haired detective could finish, he was crudely interrupted by the other's angry voice.

"Sorry!" Ryo exclaimed in bewilderment, gripping his lover firmly by the collar, "God, Dee! That's not what I want to hear you say! All I want is to know what is wrong with you. You disappear from time to time, you talk about God and death and don't think I didn't catch those inaudible comments you made. Do you have any idea how worried I was? Do you have any idea how scared I was when I nearly lose you?" Ryo was already on the verge of breaking down as his fist tightened around the soft fabric of his lover's shirt. His legs gave away and the man collapsed onto the ground but tears ceased to flow.

Going down on one knee, Dee locked his arms around the man for a warm embrace. However, words were caught in his throat. Despite his heart yearning to say words of comfort, his mouth refused to comply. Maybe it was because he knew that he could no longer give the man false hope, - not when his tears were breaking his own heart.

"Damn you, Dee Laytner!" his half-Japanese lover cursed, whimpering softly as he buried his head against the younger man's chest, "Can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

Dee knew he couldn't' just tell his lover that he had only months to live. He might have handled the news in a calm and collected manner but he seriously doubt that his blond lover could do the same.

He was going to assure the man that nothing was wrong when his body retaliated to the idea. Somehow, the surging urge to throw up that was building up inside the dark-haired detective felt that there was a need for the other to know about his _secret_.

Not caring that the flaxen man would misinterpret his actions, Dee stood up immediately and fall back in his steps as on hand covered his mouth in futile attempt to stop whatever that was going to come out of it.

Ryo lifted his head when his body missed the warmth of his lover's embrace only to watch in utter confusion as his dark-haired lover turned from him without hiding the obvious effort to hide the truth from him. No doubt, Ryo was aggravated to throw another fit at the former but when his profound black eyes trailed the man's every movement, he did find it rather strange by the way Dee was walking.

It was as though he was drunk and couldn't walk straight. His body sway so much that it seemed as though he was going to fall any minute, - only that every time he was lucky enough to have the support of the barbwire fence or the concrete walls on his left.

Picking up himself from the ground, wiping away the tear stains on his face, Ryo asked with concern, "Dee? What's wrong with you?" But only, he asked too soon as Dee fell onto his knee against the barbwire fence, barfing out sticky red liquid onto his palm.

"Dee!" he shouted in apprehension as he ran to his lover's aid, only to have the man shout back at him, -

"Don't come any closer!"

Startled would be the understatement of the century to describe Ryo's expression. He was baffled! Shocked! And undoubtedly hurt…

"Dee…" he tried to move an inch closer.

"Please, Ryo…" his midnight-haired partner pled softly, - so soft that the tinge of despondency was almost unnoticeable. But only _almost_ unnoticeable…

The blond detective's heart rendered with fear and suffering, - hurting by the cruel fact that his partner, his lover…couldn't trust him enough to tell him that he was ailing. Not even after all the turmoil they have been through together.

"Dee…"

"I'm sorry…" that was all his dark-haired lover said before his entire system shuts down and collapsed onto the ground with a dull thud.

"Dee!"

* * *

"BP is 60/40 and dropping…" Ryo vaguely heard the male attendant said to another in the ambulance ride to the General Hospital but his mind has already barred all the noises going around the confined transportation, his body was already numbed from the scene revealed before his eyes. 

His partner… his lover… was reclining peacefully despite the commotions going about; - deciding that he would be selfish with his enthralling smoky green eyes and not opening for others to be captivated by them. From the corner of the dark-haired detective's luscious but paling lips was caked blood from his earlier episode. The man's favorite navy blue shirt was ripped off, revealing his muscular chest when the medics had to perform CPR on him.

But this was wrong… all too wrong to be true…

'God… please let me wake up from this nightmare…' the blond detective prayed. But somehow, in the back of his head, he knew that God had helped him too many times. And this time… his Lord was going to fail him.

The ambulance pulled up abruptly before the entrance of the General Hospital, where medical staffs and doctors of the ER department crowded to greet his lover, - only, it wasn't a warm welcome.

* * *

"Bloody hell, Laytner! You promised that if I were to discharge you, you won't give me a chance to admit you again!" reprimanded the petite Russian doctor at her unconscious patient. She knew very well that he couldn't hear her, but Emmelina just felt that there was a need to give the man a piece of her mind. 

Exhaling sharply, "No more your way, Laytner. From now on, we're going to do it my way," she said sternly as she stormed out of the ward room, only to find a gorgeous blond seated on a bench across the room with dejection written in his deep black eyes.

Striding closer in direction of the man, Emmelina noted that it wasn't only sadness cast in those enticing orbs, but a mix of emotions swirling inside like a turbulent tempest.

"Hi…" she called out to him, but when those Asian eyes looked up to her, she could feel herself falling into the emotions held within. The melancholy in it spoke volumes of sadness that was immeasurable, - far more profound that anything she had encountered before.

"…erm…I don't supposed that you came with that blockhead inside there, did you?" she meant to sound casual, but her voice couldn't help quivering. Something about the man's eyes was eating up her calmness. It was as though it was dragging her into his sadness as well.

A simple nod came in reply.

"If I may be so bold to ask, who are you and who are you to this man?"

Silence greeted her in return before his inaudible voice reached her ears, "…Randy…MacLean… partner… lover… - family…"

A longer silence held between them momentarily as she tried to comprehend the words said.

"You're his lover?"

Ryo lowered his head in a single nod, refusing to look at anything other than the white-tiled floors. He knew that not many could take in the fact that he and his lover's were of the same-sex. It was even a known fact that there are people out there that appalled by their sexual preference and condemned them as abnormal. More often than not, Ryo would deny their sexuality in public, but this time, he felt that there was no need for the secrecy. He knew that he loved the man enough to admit that he was the only person he wants to spend whole of eternity with.

Noting the man's stillness, Emmelina quickly ransacked her brain to say something.

"I'm sorry…I mean, it's not very often I come across gay couples. I'm really sorry if my silence made you uncomfortable," she said with a smile, hoping to make up for her amiss.

"It's okay…" he replied, not that he was expecting much reaction from the lady doctor anyway.

But she continued looking intently at the man as though she was contemplating to say something.

"How is he?" he spoke again, but with a more optimistic voice this time.

"He's…" the petite lady didn't know where to start telling the man. Only that she had this nagging feeling that her patient is going to kill her for disclosing information about his condition to another.

"You don't know a thing, do you?" she asked, catching the man off-guard by the question.

Eyebrow creased, "What do you mean?" Ryo asked in return, narrowing his midnight-black eyes at the doctor.

Shivering slightly at the intensity held in the man's gaze, "Mr. Laytner… has contracted a stomach cancer…" she paused as the blond man's eyes widened with bewilderment, gasping at the unsaid horror of the news, and slumped back against the bench, looking as though he was a man who has gone into shock.

Looking at the state of the man, she knew that the man wasn't going to take the news as collected as her patient had. Emmelina opened her mouth to will herself to speak, but only after a few silent gapes she regained her power to vocalize her thoughts again.

"He… he's in the last stage…" she finally said, uncovering more disturbing news.

"But… he was discharged…he was well…" Ryo was hardly making any sense with the gibberish he said in his trembling voice.

"I'm sorry…" that was all she could say to comfort the man of his grief.

"But you're the doctor! Do something about it! I… I … I can't let him die! He's my everything!" he said in desperation, grabbing the doctor by the shoulder.

"I know you're upset, Mr. MacLean… but… there is nothing I can do when it's his wish for me to stop treating him…"

Startled by the fact, Ryo felt his whole body froze. Staggering a few steps back till he collapsed back onto the wooden bench, "He… Dee… wants to …"

Knowing that it would be hard for the man to say the word out loud, Emmelina saved the man the misery by cutting in, "Yes…" she replied with a fraction of the dejection felt by Ryo. It's not that she had no compassion for the dark-haired detective; it was just that her sentiments for the detective cannot rival the love of the blond man for the man.

* * *

a.n. 2: Accreditations to all those reviewers who had reviewed _Let Me Be Free._

Starting from the latest:

_**Josh122121-san**_: Um...okay. But better yet, why don't you just alert this fic?

**_Lorella-san_**: Is it really that sad? Anyway, I've updated now. I'm sorry for the delay though. ;P

**_Kitty in the Box-san_**: I hope that this is soon enough. I did mention that I will be writing again in late June. I hope that you haven't lost interest in this fic...And I will give shabu shabu a try the next time I pay patronage to a Japanese restaurant. (wink)

**_firgodes7-san_**: Thank you for your support! I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations. :)

**_NightShadow131-san_**: I would love to tell you more but somethings are meant to be revealed in the stories. (wink) And though I said that this was going to be the last chapter, there is still something I want to add and I want to make Dee's death scene more significant. (smile) I'm not too sure if this is sad enough, but I hope that you enjoy it all the same.

**_VgGkYaoiGurl-san_**: Gomen! I'm sorry for the error I made. Gomen. And I'm also sorry for the late update. I really had my hands full last three months. I hope that you will continue supporting my fic despite the mistake I made. :)

_**ColeridgeFan-san**_: I'm sorry... but Dee has to go. But if you look it this way, if happiness is short-lived, they will cherish it more that way. That is what I think. In life, if you know that time is running short, you'd learn to love more than you ever will in 100 years. But that is my opinion only...hehe... p/s: I like Hisoka and Tsuzuki, too. Especially like the puppy-version of Tsuzuki. He's really cute!

_**Shirubaa Kitsune-san**_: I hope that you've noted that there has been a slight change in chapter 2 of this fic. I'm really sorry for both my late update and the inconvenience. And as for your question on peptic ulcer... heard of gastric or gasteritis? It's an inflammation of the stomach. Not too serious if treated, but recurrence is possible. Anyway, how is Sakura?

**_XZanayu-san_**: Thank you for your support! And I hope that you like this chapter! ;)

* * *

Thank you for all the reviews! I hope that you like the progress of this fic. I'm sorry if I've disappointed those who were wishing for a conclusion to this fic. Next chapter will be the last, I promise. And there will be more Dee in it compared to this chapter. If you ask me, this chapter is more or less Ryo-centered. Anyway, keep those reviews coming!  



	4. The Point of No Return

Title: I'll Be There _**The Point of No Return**_

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n: Okay, I've gotta keep this short. Thank you for keeping up with my crappy work. Arigatou, minna! I just finished this (even my beta-reader haven't even read this chapter) so, there are bound to be mistakes. So, I apologize beforehand for any errors found. Gomen. And if I promised that this chapter was going to be the last, well... gomen... this isn't. I'm a procrastinator and also a very lazy author, this I admit... The next one, I promise, should be the last... I promise! Okay, on with the story...

* * *

Anesthetics had to be the cruelest means of relieve doctors ever invented. When the colorless, odorless liquid goes into the human body, it's all giddy and high; but when it wears off, it felt like a ton of brick crashing down on you, - waking you in the most agonizing way ever known to mankind. Yup, anesthetic is a bitch. 

At least, that was what the dark-haired detective was thinking when consciousness slowly revived in his pounding head.

Moaning slightly in lieu of the growing headache, Dee's brows knitted together in annoyance before fluttering those long lashes that concealed his gorgeous green eyes.

"Dee…" faint but unmistakable voice of a certain chestnut-haired man that lingered with concern was calling to him in spite of the dreary humming in his ears.

Though he knew that his lover was there, towering beside him, - his unfocused eyes could only do as much as focus on the rough silhouette of the man. Everything was still fuzzy to him.

"…Ryo…?" he called out with uncertainty tinged heavily in his raspy voice. Though remnant of drugs were still inducing weariness in his limbs, mustering all that he could, Dee lifted an arm in the direction of the hazy figure only to be caught mid air before he could even reach to touch the man's face.

The palm of the other was warmer than of his, - as though it was emitting the body heat he was lacking. Complementing perfectly against one another, fingers entwined together as the blond's grip tightened slightly as an indicator that he was right there beside him.

"Hey…" Ryo greeted the awakened man in soft whispers as he brought his face closer, - so close that even under the blurry circumstances, Dee could distinguished those enthrallingly profound pitch-black eyes.

"Ryo…" calling out with more confidence, the ebony-haired detective gave the man a weak smile with those pale pink lips that Ryo longed to kiss.

The blond Japanese's heart wrenched with a mix of emotions; - overwhelmed with happiness because his lover has once again regain consciousness from the darkness of oblivion, but distraught with despair thoughts of the time he has left with the man.

Brushing aside the stray ebony bangs that fell onto his lover's pale face, Ryo felt a lump in his throat, obstructing his ability to speak. Tears obscured his sight, threatening to fall.

Tensed by the given situation, Dee drew a deep breath, preparing himself for come what may. His eyelids lowered till the point they were closed peacefully, but that was only on the surface. Inside, he was gritting his teeth, baring slightly only to depict further the turbulent roaming within him upon his gorgeous façade.

Out of guilt …

Out of pain …

Out of fear …

He could feel his heart tear at the deliberation of each sentiment. He could feel it rip and wrench, he could sense it bleed not with blood but fear.

Fear of having to tell his lover the truth,

Fear of having to hurt him because of the **_truth_**,

Fear of having the man hating him,

Fear of seeing tears in the man's pitch black orbs,

Fear of being to attached to his partner to the extent of not being able to die in peace,

Fear of the blond detective being too attached that God knows what stupid things he would do if he had died,

But more importantly, the fear of having to say goodbye, -

Goodbye to the chance of given to him to love the half-Japanese,

Goodbye to the love they shared,

Goodbye… to… Ryo…

Will he be able to that?

A lone tear that fell onto his cheek with a little splash snapped his brooding reverie back to the reality before his eyes. Before his green eyes that lacked of his usual vibrant was the man who held his heart, his soul… his everything…

He knew that he owed the man much more than a simple 'I'm sorry' can convey. But that was all he could offer… that was all he could say…

"…Ryo… I'm …" words were caught mid way by the softness of his lover's lips covering his own.

"Save your strength… Don't say a thing…"

"No, Ryo… It's something I have to…"

"No, Dee. You don't have to…" Denial was written all in his jet black eyes.

"Ryo, I need you to know…" Despite his resolve, his voice failed him from cracking like the frail man he was at the moment.

"**I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING**!" Ryo finally burst out with steady streams of tears streaking down. In his eyes, the blond Japanese held a ferocity Dee had seen one too many times being his partner. It was the same menacing glare he had when he found out his parents were mistakenly killed, the same boring intensity in those black orbs every time Leo Grant spoke of nonsense about how he was the other person worthy of putting a bullet through the bastard's heart.

Dee never thought that there will be a day when that particular glare would be directed at him. But judging by how angry his lover was, he knew that this was the mildest of reprimands he deserved.

After all, he did deceived the man… well, not exactly deceive… more like untruthful.

He had plenty of time to tell his lover about his condition after he was discharged the first time, but he didn't.

"Why?... Why, Dee?..."

Shakily lifting his head to look at his crying lover, Dee tried real hard to suppress all emotions, tried real hard not to show anxiety in those green orbs of his, - only to fail miserably when a lone tear dashed down the side of his temple so fast that one would miss it if not for the moist trail left behind.

"…Don't ask, Ryo…"

Tearing his eyes away from looking into those beseeching midnight orbs, turning his head so that his partner would not have to see the depth of agony in those dark green orbs of his, - it was at times like these words fail him.

"…I … I can't tell you…" his voice was hardly audible, but Ryo heard him nonetheless.

"Can't? Or won't?" the Japanese-American detective asked, carrying heavy hints of bitter anger in his voice.

Dee held a momentarily silence as though he was debating internally between the choices given, - to speak the truth, or to forever hold his secret.

"I won't…" the paling midnight-haired detective was only beginning, but the sound of a sob hitched in his lover's throat was already audible. He could only imagine how much worst it can get before his lover sinks to his knee in strangled, hysteric sobs.

"… I won't run anymore, but I can't tell you either. It's not a matter of will or won't, not a matter of can or can't, -…but how… How am I supposed to tell you something that even I don't know?..,"

"So are you saying that you have no idea why you never bothered to tell me about your condition? Are you saying you were to clueless as to why you choose not to receive medical treatment, choosing to _die_…" Ryo was practically yelling at the top of his lung, directing all anger at the addressee, but choked back on a sob when the taboo word slipped his tongue, "…choosing to die, without even telling me…?"

If the eyes were the windows to one's soul, then the endless tears trickling down from his black orbs would resemble blood seeping out his wounded soul.

Dee diverted his head to face his lover. But those captivating green eyes held an unfathomable emotion, - an emotion Ryo had never seen Dee portrayed before.

"You're not the only one who doesn't have an inkling about this…" he said softly.

"And that is supposed to make me feel a whole lot better!" countered the flaxen man sarcastically, narrowing his eyes dangerously at the reclined detective.

"…no…" Dee admitted mellifluously, but then picked up his voice a little to continue, "It had never been my intention to let you or even anyone for that matter, to know…"

"God! **Who do you take me for**!" Ryo was practically glowering down at the man with fuming anger.

For the first time, Dee said nothing to soothe the man's fury.

Instead words said infuriated the blond detective even more.

"Ryo… please leave…" he said firmly, but his eyes refused to meet the man's baffled gaze.

"What did you just said?" Ryo asked, hoping that his ears deceived him.

"Leave, Ryo… Just go…"

"Dee…do you have any idea what you're saying?" Lips quivered, words stumbled with a low tremor.

"Yes, I'm sane enough to know that I want you to leave. Now, **go**!" Dee replied resolutely, raising his voice to stress his point.

"Dee…" Ryo didn't even bother to hide the pleading tone in his voice.

"Goddamnit! Just **GO**!"

Picking himself up to a sitting position in a quick motion, his hand swiped the glass off the nightstand next to his bed and threw it across the room, brushing against the left cheek where he used to peck each morning as soon as he stepped into the kitchen where the man he loved was serving breakfast. But now he had marred it with a thin red trail that would leave a bruise soon.

And despite weighing with guilt, he wasn't going to back out of his plan.

"You really want me to go…" It wasn't a question, nor was it a plea. Just a simple statement.

"Yes, **now beat it**!"

And with that final crude remark, he watched with rendered heart as the only man he ever loved walked out of his life, slamming the door on his way, - putting a permanent end to his love life.

"God…" Throwing an arm over his throbbing head, Dee fell back onto the bed with a loud thud and sound of the mattress spring creaking in protest.

He felt like bawling his eyes out…

He felt like throwing up in disgust for the things he said to the man…

But worst of all, he felt like dying…

A quick but soft knock rapped on his door before a nurse came rushing in.

"I heard a crashing sound from this room. Is everything okay?" she asked with concern.

Pushing away the pain of his heart, a false front masked his façade as he gave her a small apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I was feeling a bit frustrated and by accident I broke the glass. Can you get someone to clean it up? I'm really sorry for the trouble I'd caused."

Being the oblivious nurse she was, "It's okay. I'll get someone. But until the mess is all cleaned, don't get off the bed. We wouldn't want you to injure yourself, would we?" she said, smiling brightly at the man as though her smile could make everything better again.

But Dee knew that it would be impossible to make things right again, or even as it was before.

"Just before I go, is there anything else you need?" asked the petite nurse, breaking his bleak train of thoughts.

"Yeah…" he said, looking up to meet her sweet smiling nature that contrasted his bitter temperament.

"Can you get Dr. Sergei for me, please?"

* * *

Emmelina sank into her chair behind her messy desk, totally exhausted by the ordeal that she had just been through. 

Rubbing her index finger against her temple where her growing headache seemed to be nagging her with the obtrusive throbbing.

"God, Laytner…You and your messed up life…" the Russian doctor was going to curse the man with the colorful profanities she learnt in her spare time while working in the general hospital that resided within the notorious city of New York, but refrained herself from doing so.

Thinking back on the incident that happened not so long ago, somehow or rather her resolve to curse the man to his death melted when the words slowly sink into comprehension.

_Storming into the detective's ward, "Detective Laytner, you'd better have a very good reason for hauling me here from my lunch break," she said irately to the man with her arms crossed across her chest._

_But when he did not reply immediately, her patience wore thinner than before. The man kept a straight face, staring out the window and into the vast sky, - ignoring her presence completely. _

"_Well!" she asked with irritation. _

"_I want out," the level of his voice maybe mild and soft, but she knew that his determination wasn't._

"_Detective Laytner, this conversation is becoming a bore. We've gone through this many times already. No means no!"_

"_You know I can't be kept like a caged bird…"_

"_I know… I know… You're a free spirit. You can't be bound. You need to be freed…All these I've heard one too many times. But Detective, you tell me, - what happened the last time I set you free? Not only did you break your promise, you returned with a condition far worse than before. Now, if you were in my shoes, will you set yourself free?" It wasn't reprimand in her tone, but the kind of tone found in psychiatrist when they are consulting._

_The thought alone irked the dark-haired detective, but only a scowl appeared on his gorgeous façade. Under the circumstances, he was in no condition to complain._

"_Can't you just do this for me one last time?... It's this man's dying wish. Can't you at least honor it?" he tried._

"_Detective…by leaving the hospital, you will only make your lover even sadder than before…" she tried to reason in return as she strode over to the side of his bed and gingerly sat on the unoccupied chair._

_One word alone was enough to stir up a turbulent in his emotions._

"_He wasn't supposed to know…" Dee said through gritted teeth, looking away from the doctor as though he was blaming her for the pain he felt._

_Slightly taken aback, "…I'm sorry… I didn't know it was supposed to be a secret…But don't you think that he deserves to know about it, too?"_

"_No!" Dee snapped with his eyes glowering at the petite lady._

"_He has the right to know, you know?"_

"_As far as I know, no law in the State of America or even in the City of New York that entitles a doctor to disclose the patient's personal information to a third party unless spouse or blood-related relatives. Don't talk about rights when you have yet to get them right," he retorted with a rising anger._

"_But he acknowledges you as a family!" she argued back._

"_But I have none!" he bit back sharply, "I'm an orphan, doc. I don't have a family." _

_Rendered speechless by the man's statement, all Emmelina could do was stare at her patient in bewilderment._

"_Now, either I get an official 'ok' to leave, or I'll bust my way out of here." Dee said nonchalantly._

And because of his non-committal tone, Emmelina never took him seriously. But only to be retaliated with regret when she came back to his ward later that evening to find her patient missing.

2 agonizing hours spent in vain search of the man's whereabouts within the premises of the hospital. 2 more hours spent in the hospital administrator's office receiving her reprimands and threats of revoking her license.

"Damn you, Laytner!… Damn you!…" she cursed out loud only to hear her voice reverberate against the four bleach-clean white walls.

Pushing herself further down against the chair, random thoughts began to come into her mind.

'Does _he_ know?... Should I tell _him_?... But what if he doesn't want _him_ to know?... Would I be doing the man a favor? Or will I provoke him even more?'

The signature knock of her secretary on her door brought her out of her reverie.

"Come in," she said instinctively as she straightened in her seat.

"Dr. Sergei, two officers from the 27th Precinct are here to speak to you about your missing patient," informed her stoic assistant.

No sooner could she call them in, a very familiar face and an unknown man, whom she presumed was the man's colleague, - made their appearance at her doorstep. But he had yet to register the coincidence.

"Dr. Sergei, we're here in regards of a missing patient of yours?" said the newcomer smoothly while keeping the professional tone in his voice, as he read from the little notebook held in his hand. The other detective, whom she recognized from an earlier acquaintance had his attention elsewhere and kept his silence as his colleague addressed her.

"Yes," she answered with cautions tinge in her voice.

"Please have a seat, detective…?"

"Parker… Drake Parker. And this here is…"

"…Detective Randy MacLean, I know… We've met earlier," the doctor cut in, surprising the detective of her acquaintance with his colleague when the man barely said a word of recognition when they were assigned to this case.

Ryo blinked twice as though the very action would take away the thoughts that contaminated his mind, when he heard a lady's voice calling out his name.

"You're..." realization finally sank in, as those midnight orbs widen with acknowledgment.

"You could have at least let me know that you know Dr. Sergei. It would have saved me the trouble of looking like a fool…" his fellow officer grunted.

"Sorry, Drake… I didn't know that…"

"Yes. Detective MacLean did not know my name beforehand, so, it really isn't his fault for not knowing," defended the lady doctor with a knowing smile. She was actually surprised that she could still smile after going though the whole nightmarish ordeal. But then again, she had a professional image to keep.

Settling down in the seat in front of her desk, "So, who's the missing patient?" Drake asked, ready with a pen in his hand to write down all the information necessary to ease their search.

Emmelina stole a glance at the blond detective next to him. As much as he tried to pay attention to the whole Q & A session, she knew that his heart was elsewhere, - namely a ward not too far from her office. She could see the longing look on his face, yearning to visit the man in the said ward. But what kind of reaction would reflect on his debonair façade when he realized that the room was now clear of patient?

"Doctor?"

Blinking back to reality, she couldn't help to blush in embarrassment when a pair of brown eyes bearing concern caught her inattentive.

"Are you okay, doc?" Drake asked.

"Yeah… probably a little worn out by the whole incident…" she admitted, but that was only half the reason for her weariness.

"Well, as soon as we find the guy, you can give him a piece of your mind," Drake said in a half-hearted joke as he flashed her a reassuring smile. Nevertheless, it was a futile reassurance when she knew her patient well enough to know that the only way to get him back would be over his dead body.

"What good would it be to give a corpse a piece of my mind…?" she whispered softly to herself.

"I'm sorry, doc. Did you say something?" asked the detective.

Forcing another smile, "Nothing…just random gibberish…"

"So, back to what I was saying before, do you have any details about this patient? Name? ID? Picture? Or is he a John Doe?"

The Russian beauty spare a split second to contemplate on whether to say the man's name before his disheartened lover or send the police on a wild goose chase, looking for an anonymous man. But she can only keep the secret for so long. Whether she liked it or not, it was bound to be divulged sooner or later.

"His name is more than enough to start your hunt," she finally said.

"Oh?" Drake raised a brow, "He's a fellow officer?"

His colleague's query caught his attention as Ryo straightened in his seat with his brows slightly creased.

"Yes…" she held their suspense for a full second before revealing her missing patient's name, "…His name is… Dee Laytner."

* * *

a.n 2: I'm sorry for not able to reply my reviewers in this chapter personally because I'm in a hurry. But a quick thank you to Shirubaa-san , GreenEyedFloozy-san, Cait-chan, firgodes7, Tinanit Enozym-san, Kiori-san, Megamie-san, Josh122121-san and all the other reviewers who had reviewed _**I'll Be There**_, - for your consistant support. This chapter is for you all! Thanks! 


	5. Don't Wanna Say Goodbye

Title: I'll Be There - **_Don't Wanna Say Goodbye_**

Author: Kaede Yuki

a.n.: **WARNING!** _This is a death fic!_ The genre clearly states that it's a tragedy, - you have been warned! Anyway, I'm really sleepy now… I've been writing till 4 a.m. … So, if you find mistakes along the story, I apologize beforehand. My mind is in a complete daze when I wrote this… and I still am. It's not perfect, I know…but I just want to finish this fic as soon as possible. I was going to post this up after I've received Shirubaa Kitsune-san's review for my previous chapter since Kitsune-san always does… But something came up and I've decided to complete this fic before my exams next week. Anyway, I hope Kitsune-san gets this. Though I know Kitsune-san doesn't like death fics very much, this fic is partially in tribute to Kitsune-san.

Other than that, this fic is also dedicated to an ardent fan of my fics, - Caitlin-chan. I hope you like it!

Now, on with the story…

* * *

The engine roared in protest when the driver slammed his feet onto the accelerator as soon as the traffic light signaled the man that he was good to go. 

"Hey! Slow down, will ya!" shouted the passenger in the car along with the manic driver.

"I know you have a death warrant with ya, Grim Reaper. But please double check! It's not my name on the warrant! So, let me live a little longer!" Drake pled, yelling at the fuming driver over the loud honking that was directed at the man behind the wheels.

Black enticing orbs narrowed dangerously as the man charged past a changing light, only to swerve the entire car at a sharp 90 degrees turn to their left, creating havoc in the streets along the way.

Frustrated by his colleague's lack of sensibility, Drake gave up on talking sense into the blond detective. Obviously, his desperate attempts to call forth rationality in the man were futile. Words just fell onto deaf ears.

Thus, he said no more until they came to a screeching halt in an empty parking space, northeast end of Pelham Bay Park.

"Goddamnit, Ryo! You're an officer of the law, but have you any idea how many offenses you've commit throughout the whole drive! Five! Five, Ryo! Three for charging past the red light, one for reckless driving, and one for a homicide-to-be, - whom the unfortunate victim is **_me_**! I swear I'm going to get a heart attack! So, refrain yourself, or I'll place a restraining order against driving on you!"

"Why don't you just revoke my license?... Oh, while you're at that, take my badge as well…" the half-Japanese bit back with bitter sarcasm.

"Ryo…"

"**_Two weeks_**!" Ryo slammed both his forearm against the steering, "**Two bloody weeks**, Drake!" His head fell on top of the steering as his grip around the round rim tightened till his knuckles turned white.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen the man throw a fit over the missing detective. In fact, it was like a routine. Every time they went on a scavenger hunt for Dee, the Japanese detective would end up breaking half the traffic rules in the book before breaking into tears. It was no different this time.

"Where is he?" whimpered the ash blond detective as tears cascade unceasingly.

"Look… you're tired and restless. And since you've drove us all the way here, why don't you use the opportunity to take a breather and relax your mind?" Drake suggested with an encouraging smile.

"But we're still on duty…"

"I'll be here if we're on call. Moreover, the car's probably overheated. Let it cool down a little while you take a stroll," the man said with a wink.

"Thanks, Drake…" Ryo replied turning to give his friend a faint smile.

* * *

The sun that evening was exceptionally orange with reddish highlights to emphasize its burning passion, scorching the clouds with its fiery colors as it sunk ever so slowly beneath the horizon. Somehow, if he could interpret Mother Nature's actions into words, he would like to think of it that the sun was somewhat reluctant to say goodbye to this day. Just like how unwilling he was to say goodbye to this world. But neither he nor the sun could run away from their fate. Eventually they will have to say their goodbyes. 

And as how the sun bade the day goodbye, knowing very well that there will never be another today, he would have to bid the world and its people adieu for he knew that he might not have a tomorrow.

Ebony tresses streaked golden brown in color, while his body emitted the radiance of ethereality when the color of his pale complexion contrasted the tangerine glow. His shirt clung onto him loosely, as though it was fighting a losing battle against the ferventness of the ocean breeze.

Spreading out his arms, Dee inhaled a lung full of refreshing cool air.

'How much longer can I breathe?' a random thought came to mind as he deliberately held his breath. A nonsensical notion crossed his mind.

'I might never get to smell the freshness of the air, spiked with the scent of the ocean… I might never breathe again…So, if I can hold on…just a little longer…maybe…'

He knew that he was just being silly and childish. He knew that he was just trying to be ignorant. He knew that a part of him was still hoping that he could live a little longer. But he also knew that a dream will always be a dream.

A short fit of cough finally forced him to release the air held in his lungs, forcing him to let go of his ludicrous belief.

And despite the solemnity that graced his façade, he was laughing like a mad man, - laughing at how twisted his life has become for the last two and a half months, how one cruel luck changed him from who he used to be.

* * *

The blond Japanese detective wandered absentmindedly as he treaded his polished leather shoes along the sandy beach. It was nice to get out once in a while, - stop and smell the fresh air. It would have been the ideal choice of relaxation just to get stress out of the mind. It would have been the case, if it weren't the fact that his heart would let someone out of his mind, - a certain someone with the hair color that rivaled the night and eyes that were hexed with the spell to charm. 

"_His name is more than enough to start your hunt… His name is… Dee Laytner…"_

The doctor's words reverberated clearly in his ears. He remembered how his heart stopped when she said his name. He vaguely remembered hearing a cracking sound in the back of his head, the cracking of his sanity. He exerted more effort than usual to keep his rationality at that one moment in time.

"Dee…"

He was clueless as to why he had the urge to whisper the man's name in the wind. Maybe… just maybe, he thought, - the wind might reach to _him_; reach the person who hid from him and the rest of the world…

Ryo knew that he was just being childish, that it was nothing more than a wishful thinking. But it wouldn't hurt to wish, would it?

He could feel his body's defense mechanism working against the misery that was trying to break its way into his heart. A sad smile graced upon his lips. But Ryo knew that it was just his sanity trying to provide comfort for his broken soul.

Weariness was weighing down on the half-Japanese detective, but it wasn't his body that was feeling worn out. It was his heart.

Somehow, he was just tired out this cat and mouse chase.

Maybe Dee doesn't want to be found…

Maybe that all this while he was being blinded by his own selfishness, blinded by his own greed for the man to stay with him, - when all Dee wanted was to be as far as possible from him…

The very thought alone stung, making his eyes rapidly blink away the growing tears.

'God! Since when have I been such a crybaby?' the blond man grunted mentally as he berated himself for being all feeble and weak.

'_Since the day **he** left…_' sardonically his devil conscience suggested, taking the opportunity to rub salt on the man's already wounded self-esteem.

Ryo could help but to cringe. For once, the devilish side of him was being paradoxical by speaking of the truth that lies deep within his heart.

Yes, ever since he was partnered with Dee…

Ever since he ignored Dee's advances…

Ever since he took Dee seriously…

Ever since the first time they shared…

And the times after that…

He knew that his life revolved around the one man alone. He was always under the impression that no matter what, Dee would be there for him. And he used it to his advantage, believing that after his parents died, after leaving Aunt Elena, after Bikky left him for a brighter future, - he would always have Dee beside him no matter what.

But now, he knew.

That even if Dee didn't leave him now…

Even if Dee didn't run from the hospital…

He would still have to face the harsh reality that the time for the man he loved was slowly running out.

A sob finally broke through the constraint in his throat, letting out a small choke-like cry as he collapsed onto his knees. A hand was brought up to clamp over his mouth from crying out loud, while the other snaked across to hold his shivering body.

Ryo knew that multiple pairs of eyes were training on him, while murmurs were heard as passer-bys began to stop around him. He knew that he was making a fool out of himself in public, but somehow, he could no longer contain the sadness that overflowed his heart.

He could hardly be bothered, but when an indistinctly familiar pair of black dress shoes came to a halt in front of him, tears were beginning to subside.

"Hey, there… You okay?" the man asked in a voice soft with concern.

The blond detective meekly nodded, nevertheless, his eyes refused to look up to whom were addressing him. The memories of his sudden break down came crashing down on him, making the man turned an impossible shade of red out of embarrassment. There was no way he could show his current façade to anyone!

However, he did feel a tinge of familiarity in the man's suave voice.

'It's just my imagination… It can't be…'

His mind has been so preoccupied that the detective didn't even register the man hasty departure. By the time he actually picked up his head, the man has mysteriously blended in with the crowd. He left as quickly as he came.

And while his ebony eyes still frantically search in vain for the stranger, his cell phone untimely rang.

"Yo, Ryo. Time to head back. I have to clock in before third shift," Drake said over the phone.

Withdrawing from his search, the flaxen man resigned with a defeated sigh, "Yeah. I'll be over in a while."

* * *

'Shit…shit…shit… **_Damn_**!' the dark-haired man cursed inwardly as he finally turned around the corner, disappearing from the blond detective's prying sight. 

'Why? After all the effort to hide from him… why do they still meet in the end? I don't know whether to thank God for the opportunity or to curse Him for the **_fate_** that drew upon their encounter.'

He made a mental note to kill Drake for ratting out on him as his throat burnt from the harsh intake of breaths.

Dee wasn't even sure why he was panting when all he did was walk casually away from his lover. Hell, it didn't even exert much of a muscle to walk the distance less than a half a kilometer.

But why did it feel like he had just finished a race? Why was his heart pounding at such an insane rate that it felt like it was going to leap out of his chest any time soon? Why was he overwhelmed with uneasiness? Why did he feel like crying?

A hand firmly clutched the fabric over his chest as the growing sorrow intensified to the point where it hurt just to think about the blond Japanese.

Dee knew that feeling.

He knew of the pain all too well.

It has struck him more than once in a day since he left that fateful day.

It was there every time he was reminded of his lost love.

The painful aching of his broken heart…

Broken because he was no longer complete without his other half…

Broken because he could no longer reach out to hold the man even when he broke down to tears…

Broken because he had to see the man he loved so much suffer…

Broken because…

He was the one who broke the man he loved…

* * *

"Ryo…?" a dainty female voice called out as she shut the door behind her. 

Silence greeted her in return while darkness welcomed her to the wintry abode. She could feel the very chillness in the air sting her delicate flesh as she took slow strides across the parlor to a plainly painted white door, where she knew she would find the person she was looking for.

Carol rapped lightly on the door before entering.

Looking around the room, "Ryo?" she hesitantly called out again before finding the said man seated on the colossal-sized mattress bed, while leaning against an oversized pillow as he looked out the window with distant eyes.

The younger blond knew that it was futile to call out to the man. Though his body was right there before her, she knew that the man's heart and soul was elsewhere.

Approaching the bed the lovers once shared, "Hey…" Carol called out to the man with heartfelt concern tinged in her voice.

Snapping out of his reverie, "Carol! What are you doing here? How did you get in?" exclaimed the half-Japanese detective in utter surprise.

Heaving a sigh at the distressing sight of the heartbroken man, Carol shook her head slightly, "Remember when I told you last week that I was going to spend the weekends at LA with Bikky?"

Not sure where all this was leading to, he vaguely nodded in reply. Somewhere in the back of his head he indistinctively remembered something along the line, but to be honest, he wasn't even sure he got the message the first time.

"Well, Bikky gave me the keys to the apartment. Said that I should drop by to check up on you whenever I can. So, here I am!" she said with a cheerful hitch at the end. But she could very well notice that her attempts were fruitless.

"Thanks, Carol…" he gave her a frail smile that easily lapsed to its original frowning façade when he turned away from her, "But I really want to be alone right now."

A pregnant pause hung in the air around them before her small voice finally spoke again.

"Is that what you really want?"

Ryo blinked as his brows knitted slightly at the odd question asked.

"Is loneliness what you seek right now?" she asked, raising her voice slightly with the growing bravery to speak her mind. Anger was also notably laced in her voice.

Clueless as to the girl's sudden mood swing, "Carol… I…I …" he stammered as his brains failed to form something coherent to say in his defense.

"If loneliness is what you want, - then fine. Don't look for Dee…" her voice was no longer hinted with anger. Bitterness tinged her soft-spoken words instead.

Startled was an understatement to depict the shock look on the man's face; - bewilder was more like it.

"Carol? What are you saying?"

"I said, don't look for Dee if loneliness is what you're looking for,"

"What do you mean don't look for Dee? He's sick…" Ryo was about to continue his ranting when the solemn-looking lady locked her gaze on him, cutting him short with her voice as sharp as knives.

"Why don't you just say the _word_, Ryo? Why don't you just say that Dee's dy…"

"**_NO!_**" his voice came booming back at her in denial as he pressed his hands against his ears to prevent himself from hearing the _word_. Tears were freely flowing down his burning cheeks, but the older man couldn't be bothered to hide them anymore. His pride no longer meant anything to him for the pain alone was already unbearable contain.

"God! Why does it hurt so much?" the blond detective wailed in his dangerously broken voice.

"Because you love him…" She would be lying to herself if she said that she was unaffected by the man's sorrow. But for _him_, she had to be strong.

Because she knew that _he _was counting on her.

Only she could give the man the answer he was looking for.

Because _he_ knew that only she could.

Taking in a deep breath, Carol mentally prepared herself not to break down midway. She knew that once she had started on it, she will have to finish it till the end no matter what.

Swallowing hard down her drying throat, "Ryo…" she began,

"Before I start, I just want you to know… that… Dee didn't mean to hurt you…The last thing he would ever want to do is to cause you any pain… But he knew that it was inevitable…"

Realization slowly dawned on the detective. "You've met him?" he exclaimed with widened eyes.

The young lady chew on her lips for a moment, contemplating on what to tell the man before deciding that it was best to be truthful all the way if she intended to go all out with it.

"Yes…" she paused momentarily, "… all of us had…but it was more like he came to us…"

All Ryo could do was drop his jaws agape as his traumatized façade hid nothing from her.

"He… went to… you?" he repeated. Somehow, she knew that he was unwilling to accept the fact that his lover went to everyone else but him.

"Why?" Ryo asked slowly as though he feared of the answer.

"To say his goodbyes…" she replied softly, in hope that the man would not catch her saying the last word.

"Ha!" a sad laughter broke out as he insanely laughed in sadness.

"Everyone… but me…" the Japanese man note out loud, still scoffing with laughter, "That goes to prove how **_important_** this **_lover_** was to him!" She knew that he was just being sarcastic, but the anger-laced-melancholy in his voice didn't go unnoticed.

"You're wrong to think that you're unimportant to him, Ryo," Carol said sternly.

"It's because you meant too much to him that is why he couldn't bring himself forward to tell you goodbye himself."

"Yeah, right!" he scoffed.

"Ryo…believe me when I say I rather he had not personally come to tell me goodbye. You had no idea how much it hurt. But I have to say that it definitely hurt him more than it hurt me,"

"So, he sent you instead?" She knew that he was purposely being difficult. But then again, could she blame him?

"I don't think he had any other choice. The guys at work practically beat the crap out of him, telling him to quit his weak bellyaching and come back to work already. Maybe just like you, they refuse to acknowledge that he was indeed dy… leaving them…" Luckily she managed to correct herself before Ryo could start a flood with his tears.

"And you? If the guys haven't come to me because they refused to accept the truth, then by coming here to tell me this, does this mean that you've already acknowledged his… nearing departure…?"

Sadly, she shook her head in refutation.

"It's not that I acknowledge his nearing death…" from the corner of her eyes she could see the man squirm at her _crudeness_, "… it's just that I'd reacted better than the others. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel like smacking his head against the wall for telling me that he was dying…" her eyelids cast lower as her voice slowly softened with the solemnity that surrounded them.

"I remember crying against his chest… telling him to go see a doctor or something… telling him to heal up or I'll kick his ass… But instead of the longwinded excuses, all he did was held me till I stop my ranting. I even remembered begging him to get better… for both you and himself. But all he did was smile. I was going to smack that stupid smile off his face when he asked for a favor… promising that it would be the one and only favor he'll ever ask from me…" A tear slowly trekked its way down her chin before dripping off onto the mattress below.

Rubbing stubbornly at her eyes till it turned all red, she tried her best to push away the despondency in her smile, "I'm not even going to bore you with details on how much I cursed him afterwards for putting me in such a sticky situation. But I'll tell you all about the favor _he_ asked for."

Internally pacifying her growing urge to cry, Carol's dry lips trembled as she spoke.

"_He_ asked that…" a sob caught in her throat, forcing her to stop before she could even begin.

Trying again, "… _he_ asked that… that… I take care of Bikky… make sure that he doesn't get into too much trouble… make sure that he wouldn't cause you anymore unhappiness than _he_ had already has…

_He_ asked that I take care of you… make sure that you wouldn't be hurting after…" inhaling shakily, she continued, "… after _he_ had left… make sure that you wouldn't try to do anything stupid… make sure that you would continue to lead the life you had before… before _he_ came along…"

Soft but audible, she heard the man whisper that his life would never be the same again without _him_. A small but proud smile graced her bittersweet façade upon hearing the man's ringing in her ears. Because she believed too, that life would never be the same, - not without _him_.

"_He_ also said to give you his consent if you ever found someone else to fill his place in your heart…" Those were the hardest words she had to say, and probably those are the last thing Ryo would ever want to hear, but since it was the man's request to make his wish known to the half-Japanese, she would have to respect that.

Ryo choked on a sob as his voice cracked in a vain attempt to contain his compulsion to cry out loud.

"Why?..." he asked in tears, "Why would he say such a thing? He knew that I could never love another… Why?..."

Closing in the distance between them, she cautiously wrapped her arm around the trembling man.

"I'm no genius. And I'm definitely not Dee. I can't tell you exactly why he left… but I have my own interpretations for his actions…" she whispered to the man, causing him to look up at her.

"I don't know how much of this is true, but I think that he doesn't want you to be hurt by his death…"

"But his disappearance… his lack of trust in me… hurt me far more painfully than hiding from me!"

"Ryo… he left you is because he doesn't want you to see him die. He doesn't want the memory of his death etched in your mind forever. That is why he doesn't want you to watch as the cancer slowly eats him away!"

"But the very thought of him dying alone… no one there to be there for him… to support him… Don't you understand, Carol! He could be dying… all in pain…and nobody will be there… until it's too late…"

"Of all people, I thought you would understand Dee best…" she sneered forlornly.

"You still don't get it, do you?" she asked.

"It's not sympathy that he asked of you, but understanding, - understanding that he needed to do this for both your sakes. He knew that you've witnessed too many deaths whether in the line of work, or even those people close to you. He told me that about your parents' unfortunate end. He said that their death was more than enough for you to grief over. His end wasn't something he wants you to woe over…"

Looking intensely at the downcast man whom was more than just a brotherly-figure to her, "Ryo… Dee wants you to keep on smiling… If there is one thing he longed to see, it wouldn't be tears in your eyes. But a smile, - a smile that reaches your eyes. Not a fake, but a real one. Could you do that, Ryo? Could you at least try to do that… for Dee?"

Ryo slowly lifted his head to look at the devastatingly sad smiling girl…

No. Carol was no longer the teenage girl who cried over her hairdo after Dee messed it.

No. Carol was no longer the street-smart teen he knew.

Was he that blind to see the changes that happened around him? Has he been so wrapped up in his own world lately to fail to see that this girl before him has grown wise beyond her age?

"Carol… I…" the half-Japanese detective was about to thank her for her wisdom when the door to the apartment burst open and people were flooding in frantically shouting out for him.

"Ryo, get your ass out here this instance!" demanded an all too familiar female voice.

Quickly wiping away the tear stains with the sleeve ends of his sweater, the said detective rushed out of the bedroom to investigate all those commotion in the parlor with Carol trailing close behind.

"Diana! What are you doing here?" he asked out of shock as he mentally registered the people in the room.

Diana… J.J.… Berkeley… and two rather badly beaten up detectives, whom he recognized nonetheless, - Ted and Drake…

"God! What happened to the both of you?" Ryo asked as he tried to steady the men whom were being pushed down by a rather infuriated police force sniper, who had the menacingly murderous glare directed at the two fellow officers.

"They finally came clean after four excruciating hours in questioning…"Berkeley answered nonchalantly, which led Ryo to believe that he was here because he was nothing more than just a perpetual tag-along.

"Come clean?" Ryo repeated as though he heard him wrong the first time.

"Yeah. All this while they knew where Dee was hiding," Diana hissed with heavy detestation in her tone, joining J.J. on a death glare competition at the two detectives.

Bracing himself, "Is that true? Drake?... Ted?..."

There was a hint of pleading in his voice and they both knew that it was already too late to hide the fact. But all they could was nod in reply.

"I'm sorry, Ryo…But Dee made us swear not to tell a soul about his whereabouts… that is… until someone decided to wring our head off our neck if we didn't tell…" Ted said, returning an equally lethal glare in J.J.'s general direction.

"Well, it's your own doing!" J.J retorted indignantly, "If you have said something in the first place, you wouldn't have to suffer our wrath, would you?"

"Do you think we deliberately hid it from Ryo just to watch him suffer?" Drake spat out with fuming anger at his partner's accusations, "Man, you have no idea how many times we wanted to go against our promise to Dee. Did you think that it was easy hiding the truth every time we see Ryo all broken, crying alone when nobody's watching? God! We were going all out for you to the extent of manipulatively **_lead_** him to Dee!"

Realization slowly sank in as pieces slowly fell into places, "So, it wasn't just my imagination…" Ryo muttered softly, "It was really him, - at the beach, there today…"

Drake absentmindedly rubbed the back of his aching neck, "You have no idea how badly I got screamed at for pulling such a stunt…"

The other battered up officer could only just sigh.

"Look, Ryo…" Ted began with seriousness hinted heavily in his voice, "… You may think that Dee doesn't care about you when he left. But that's not true. He left because he cared too much for you. Though it doesn't seem that way, he made us watch over you, call us each night to ask if you were eating right, sleeping right, but most importantly, wasn't doing anything drastic…"

"Dee…he…" Drake swallowed hard, casting his eyes downwards in dejection before continuing, "…he…was there when Jess… his so-called father died. Jess…died in his arms… And for a very long time… Dee was haunted by the incident. He never told anyone this before and before you guys glare down on me, allow me to verify that there is, was, and never will be anything between Dee and I… It's just that I know the man far longer than any of you had. And things like these weren't exactly said in your everyday conversations… He was hardly even sober when he told me that…" The detective smiled a little at the reminiscence of his friend.

"What he's really saying…" Carol interrupted, making her presence known to the ignorant new arrivals, "… Dee doesn't want you to undergo the experience he had in the past. He knows of the pain so well that he's not willing to share it with you…"

"But…" Ted cut in crudely, "… if you still insist on knowing his whereabouts, we might as well tell you since the cat's already out of the bag…"

Pausing momentarily before continuing, solemnity in the detective's voice dropped lower than the chilly temperature of the room, "I'm warning you, though, there is a possibility that he would be heartless enough not to let you into the place."

"And if you're keen on doing so, I suggest you be quick…" Drake said, eyeing bleakly at the staggered Japanese detective, "… His days alone with a critical condition to boot, weren't all dandy and nice. There were times when we found him sprawled out cold on the floor and… believe me, the sight alone will make your heart stop…"

Annoyed by the detective's liking for prevarication, Carol stepped in again, "What he's trying to say is that…" lowering her voice by a decibel, "…don't get your hopes too high up… Dee…" forced to stop by the growing lump in her throat, "… Dee could be already…dea…" She never got to finish when J.J. ruptured into a bellow.

"**_He's not DEAD!_**" Tears were streaking evidently down the young detective's cheeks, "Will you stop making it seem as though Dee-sempai has **_died_**? **_He's not DEAD_**! We're going to find him… I'm going to cling on him till he shouts at me telling me to let go… and… and…" J.J.'s words were left hanging there for words could not longer for comprehensibly in his emotional state.

Falling down onto his knee, repeating words of denial…

"He's can't die… Dee-sempai can't die… He can't die…"

The pain wailed in J.J.'s cries weren't his alone to bear. Everyone in the room felt the same aching pain that stung their heart, - even Berkeley.

But for Ryo's not just a pain that will go away in time, it was a torment. The pain didn't just sting his heart; it was like whips were slashing his heart and soul repeatedly till he could no longer feel. His entire body felt numb.

"**_WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?_** The fourth of July? Standing here like an idiot wouldn't change anything. If it's Dee you want, **_GO AND GET HIM!_**" J.J. severely reprimanded, shouting senses into the rigid man.

Dazed for a split second to register the younger detective's admonishment, Ryo broke into a run for the door.

"He's not going to know the directions, go with him. I'll be along shortly," Ted told Drake.

The brown-eyed detective could only nod before getting up from the cold floor.

"I'll go with you," Carol instantaneously added, tagging close behind the detective.

As soon as they were out the door, Ted turned his attention towards the remaining officers in the room.

"And I suppose you guys want to go, too?"

* * *

Time was passing at an agonizingly decelerated speed for Ryo's accelerating heart. And though the traffic was pretty smooth that evening, not much of a jam along the route they took, somehow it was still not enough to pacify the race in him. 

"Drake… can't you go any…"

"Ryo! I've already gone beyond speed limits. Any faster, I'd be just as bad as you! Moreover, Carol's here. I don't want any accidents to happen, so bear with me, 'kay?" Drake replied with irritation. Somewhere in the back of his head, he was thanking his lucky stars for being able to talk the man out of driving. Perceptibly, Ryo's mentality wasn't in its right state to drive, more or less comprehend the danger of reckless driving.

"We'll be there soon enough… I promise…" Carol assured, in hope to soothe the man of his worries.

Not trusting his voice to speak, the blond Japanese could only nod in respond.

Just as Drake sweep into a corner, the sound of the radio crack to live broke the silence that encompassed Ryo's sedan.

"Calling all units… calling all units… Suspect, Kyle Tristan has been spot around Grant Avenue, Pelham Manor… Suspect is believed to be armed and dangerous…I repeat… suspect, Kyle Tristan has been spot around Grant Avenue, Pelham Manor…Suspect is believed to be armed and dangerous… All available units are to report there immediately…"

"God, that's too close…" Drake cursed softly as he tweaked the radio dial a little before snatching the receiver from its holster.

"Ted, do you copy that?" he asked through the radio, not noticing eyebrows knitting from the two passengers riding in the backseat.

"Yeah…too close…" replied the other.

Getting a little annoyed being left out, "Too close to what?" Carol asked impatiently.

Drake threw a worried glance over his shoulder.

"Too close to Dee, - that's what…" he said grimly.

"You go send them over to Dee's. I'll head out with the rest of them to the scene," Ted said through the communication device.

"I'll catch up shortly,"

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Drake returned the communicator to its place almost too harshly as he stepped harder onto the accelerator.

"KYAHHH…!" the young lady screamed uncharacteristically as the sudden change in the car's momentum tossed her to slam against the door.

"Drake!" Ryo exclaimed.

"Sorry, guys. But if we don't get there soon, God knows what Dee will do," Drake's voice was laced heavily with panic.

"Where is he, Drake?" asked the half-Japanese detective gravely.

"Oak Lane… less than a block from the scene…"

It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to take a wild guess at what Drake was hinting at.

Absently, Ryo reached into his jacket just to make sure his pistol is in its holster. Upon his fingertip coming in contact with the cold metal safely tucked to his left, a foreboding feeling overwhelmed his senses.

Silently, - he prayed…

For God to listen to his prayer just this once…

To watch over Dee and keep him safe…

Till he could be there…

For him…

* * *

From where Drake pulled to a stop, roadblocks were already visibly stationed at the end of the road. Sirens could be heard from miles away, echoing fear into their hearts. Silently they all prayed that Dee would be safely tucked away in the double-storey terrace house, far from danger. But luck wasn't on their side when they entered to a pitch-black abode. 

"Dee!" Drake called out to the silent house as he rushed into the parlor, searching for signs of the man.

"Dee!" Ryo's voice reverberated against the austere walls after his colleague's voice, taking a separate path leading to the floor upstairs.

But everywhere they went, darkness was all they could see.

"Ryo!" Carol shouted with anxiety from the kitchen, causing both detectives to come rushing in her direction.

"What?" both asked impetuously.

"He's out… He left a note on the kitchen counter…" she said in a small voice as she handed Ryo a piece of paper with Dee's messy scrawl.

But despite the lack of light and Dee's almost illegible handwriting, the flaxen detective could read what was written across the brownish piece of paper.

'_Ran out of food supply. Be back in fifteen_.'

"God! This has got to be a nightmare!" Drake who was reading the note over Ryo's shoulder cursed at their '_godsend luck_', "The nearest convenient store is just down the lane behind Grant Avenue…"

Before he could even finish, Ryo has already bolted out the door.

Feeling defeated by fate that went against them, Drake sighed soundly before turning his attention towards the forgotten lass, "I need you to stay here just in case Dee comes back. Turn on the lights and bolt the doors as soon as I step out this door. We'll call you if anything comes up, but if Dee did come back, make sure you call Ryo to let him know."

Steeling herself for the task, Carol merely nodded.

Drake threw her a knowingly sad glance for something told him that he was just giving false hope to the girl. In the back of his head, he had long conceded to the implausibility of the man's return.

Reaching into his jacket pocket for his cell phone, the quick press of a speed dial directed his call to his partner-in-crime other partner in crime, - Ted.

"You had better tell me he's there," Drake could practically feel Ted's stinging hiss.

"He's not," he answered flat out, not bothered to confer suspense.

"**What?**" bawled the detective over the phone.

"Where the frickin' hell is he?" Ted added venomously.

"At your end…and before you go bite my head off, Ryo's coming your way, too," Drake made it sound nonchalant but he knew the gravity in the situation.

"Great! Why don't you just shoot me dead? Have you any idea how dangerous it is here? Tristan just engaged the force in a shooting spree! Both of them are practically walking into the lion's den!"

"Ryo would be a great help if he's there. Dee's the one I'm worried about. He's unarmed, remember?"

"Unarmed or not, he's still the impulsive bastard we know him for. God knows what he'll do!"

"Yea… God knows…" Drake agreed lackadaisically as he looked up into sky, searching for a sign or even a hint from God that everything is going to turn out alright in the end. But all he could see was an ominous dark clouds looming over the sky, engulfing the moon and the stars that strived to shine hope on his fading faith.

* * *

'Dee… Dee… Dee…!' Ryo frantically searched, skimming the people around him with his jet black eyes for signs of his midnight-haired lover. 

Faint, but his ears perked up when he heard someone calling out his name.

"Ryo!" shouted the silver-haired detective-cum-sniper as he crashed into the man, "Duck, you idiot!", - forcing the preoccupied Japanese detective to crouch down.

"Do you have any idea that you've just walked into a battle zone?" J.J. has spoken too soonas sounds of gun firing cut through the silent night followed by retaliation from the force's officers.

"Shooting spree?" Ryo noted the obvious, earning a groan from the younger detective.

"Yes, you dolt! Now, arm yourself and don't make yourself a walking target again, do you hear me?" J.J. chastised before moving back into position behind a squad car positioned ten feet away from the suspect's hiding spot, which conveniently was a residential lot.

Ryo knew that his mentality at the moment wasn't quite right for the situation at hand, but he knew he had a job to do. And the continuous shooting that rang in his ears was a constant reminder of the oath taken when he took on a job as a law enforcer to protect civilians from danger such as this. Pulling out his gun from its holster, the Japanese blond prepared himself for battle.

Not much of an action followed suit. Only the Commissioner's voice booming through the loud speaker stating that Tristan should just give it up, something about being outnumbered and a whole lot of hoax to get the slithering bastard out of his hole.

Ryo mentally slapped himself for the lack of attention to the circumstances at stake. But his mind couldn't help wondering off in directions of his missing lover.

Only the sound of a roaring engine managed to snap the man out of his reverie. More sounds of gun firing followed as a car driven like a mad drunkard erupted out the semi-detached house's garage.

Tristan charged the outmoded Subaru in Ryo's general direction where two patrol cars were station to barricade the road. Even though the officers in the front line were shooting in hope to puncture a tire or two, the madman continued driving straight at them as he shoots those that stood in his way.

It was only mere seconds before the man rammed the car into the two obstructing vehicle. But Ryo made no move to get out of the way. In fact, he stood inline with the course of the rampant car with his trusty pistol aiming straight at the man behind the wheels.

"**_BANG!_**" resounded the shot he fired, hoping that the bullet would pass through the windscreen and hit the bastard in the head.

But he missed dearly for Tristan jerked his car slightly to the right, causing the bullet to only graze the side of his car.

A sickening smirk could be seen through the windscreen as thunder decided to strike down the moment the mad outlaw opt to take on the challenge thrown at him by the Japanese detective.

"Die…" he mouthed to blond man as he changed course for the detective rooted in his spot. He readied his gun to fire as the car moved closer to the half-Japanese.

And in a heartbeat, - in the very rapid tear in time, a whole life worth of ordeal occurred before his eyes at a speed so slow, it was almost as though he was watching an action movie that has gone bad in slow-motion, - where the villain escapes, and the hero dies. As much as he wanted it to be nothing more than just a figment of his imagination, the weight on his body told him that it was for real.

That in the very split second Tristan charged full speed at him, a blur black silhouette pushed him down with his own body, covering the man complete when shots intended for the flaxen detective was embedded into his savior's back.

Dee jerkily barfed out more than a generous amount of blood from his body as he laid sprawled across Ryo's body.

"God, no!..." Ryo's raspy voice begged as words came out hoarse and scratchy from his astringent throat. He forced himself to sit up despite the dead weight of his lover imposing over his own body.

"Help… Drake…help him…" Words failed to form a coherent sentence as the Japanese blond pled for him from his fellow detective who had practically skid down beside them after a mad dash all the way from his position.

Drake could feel every fiber in his body weakened to the man's crying pleas, but all he could do is grit the vulnerability down with his teeth and tighten his hands to form a ball of fist so tight that his fingernails were practically digging into his skin.

"Paramedics?... **_Where are the goddamned paramedics when you need them?_**" the brown-eyed detective lashed out his anger, intimidating the lower ranking officers that stood nearby. A few scampered for the medics, while others tried to stay clear from him.

Tuning out his chaotic surrounding, "Dee?... Dee, please answer me…" Ryo called out, plead was all too obvious in his voice as he shook the man lightly by the shoulders.

He could feel the warm crimson liquid steadily streaming onto his body from the man who reclined face down on him, forming a pool of blood right where he sat. But somehow his brains refuse to comprehend the lack of warmth in his lover when the red fluid that flowed in his veins were practically burning his flesh. Not even the rain that fell could soothe the scorches that taint his skin.

* * *

"Dee…It's not funny anymore…" 

_Rationality was no longer a part of him._

"Dee…wake up… Dee, wake up!…Wake up this instant, I tell you!"

_Insanity was slowly eating him away._

"Dee's not dead…Dee's not dead…**_Dee's not dead so, stop telling me that he's dead!_**"

_Denial was his only sanctuary._

"**_DEE!_**"

* * *

… 

A set of footsteps could be heard echoing in the air as the sound of the heels clattering against the cemented pavement took slow strides in direction of a tomb under a Locust tree.

When he was told that he had to decide on a spot where they would have bury the man, his unexpected encounter with a lot under the tree seemed significantly suitable for the part.

Locust tree, in the language of flowers, - meant affection beyond the grave; the perfect meaning to depict his feelings for the man. Even to the graves, he would bring his love for the man with him as the man had for him.

The Japanese blond stood towering over the stone tomb, engraved with words so few; - it hardly felt enough to portray the man he was. His deft fingers ran across the carvings, tracing word-by-word, letter-by-letter on the coarse stone.

_Dee Laytner_

(**19XX – 200X**)

Died in the line of duty

His memories will forever live strong and hold dear in the hearts of loved ones

May his soul rest in peace

Ryo lowered himself on one knee as he rested a bunch of flowers on his lap.

"Dee… it's me again…" he started slowly with his voice barely louder than a whisper.

A sad smile dawned on his soft façade. Tears were already forming before he could even start his afternoon with the man. Silently he wondered, will he make it through the end without having an emotional break down like before?

His head told him he must, but his heart told him otherwise.

There was so much that he had wanted to say to his lover, so much to tell… but words never left his lips. Simply because he has no idea where to start.

But he knew he had to, somehow.

"I brought you flowers again… I know what you would say, - that I shouldn't bring such prissy thing over anymore…but Dee, I can find no other means to tell you what I'm feeling other than the flowers I bring…" he said. The very recollection of his lover made it so hard to keep tears from falling, lips from trembling, and his voice from failing.

Nevertheless, he forces a smile as he looked down onto the variety of flowers he brought with him.

"Dee…" calling out his name alone was hard enough to keep his composure from lapsing.

But trying to perk up a little, "I brought you tulips to declare my love for you…as you have for me. I wasn't honest with myself from the start, but you stayed true to me. You tell me you love me, but there were times I shun from you because I refused to believe it's true. But your endurance made me see the light in our relationship. So, no matter how many times I have to, I will do so, for this will be the first of the many declaration of love I will make to you…" he said as he placed a petite bouquet of purple tulips against the tomb stone.

Tears were cascading but he made no attempt to hide them.

"I've also brought you a champagne rose with orange-stripe ends because I think that…this flower best describe you among all," he said as he held a single rose in his hand, gazing at it with absolute interest before putting it next to the prior bouquet, "Warmth of the heart, - that is what you made me feel. Every time you held me in your arms, every time you kiss me with your lips, you made me feel warm and loved, and probably the luckiest man on the planet to have you by my side. Though I could no longer physically feel you, the feelings you left behind remains true inside my heart."

"And I never thought irises would be the perfect flower to leave you with, but it is. Iris means message, and now I'm leaving you with a message with every iris…" the detective said as the wind picked up a little making loose strands of ash blond danced to the rhythm of the wind.

"I will leave you a message that says I will love you forever more… I will leave you a message that says, don't worry for my heart will never be far from you… And more importantly, I will leave you a message that says, wait for me… I will come to you not now, because I know you would want me to live my life to its fullest…but eventually I will…so wait for me…"

He picked up three irises from his lap, whereby each iris represented one of the messages left for his lover, and laid them gracefully across the grass before the tomb.

"Lastly, a single stalk of peach blossom to promise you that I am yours forever… So, don't fret that I will love another… for no one could replace you in my heart, in my life…period."

Ryo could visibly imagine a smug on his lover's face upon hearing his reassurance. But it only pained him to remember that the man was no longer physically here to show him that smug.

"You are my everything, Dee…" his voice cracking into a sob, "…And I never knew that living without you would be so hard…"

"I tried to end it…" he said, fingering the wristwatch that hid the healing scar of his attempted suicide. He was ashamed for what he has done since the man gave his life away so that he could live. But he knew that living was the only way he could atone for his mistake.

"…I made J.J. so mad that he threatened to put a bullet through my head if I dared to pull such a stunt again…" laughed the half-Japanese a little.

"So, Dee… I'm going to live a little longer… But I don't wanna say goodbye either…" Ryo said as he began to stand on his feet again.

"…Because I know… that if I say goodbye… you'd truly be gone… But I know you're not… Your memories live within me… So, I'm not going to say goodbye… because I know…"

Smiling brighter than he ever had since his lover's death half a year ago, Ryo looked up to the clear azure sky, where he saw the mirror image of his lover conjured by his memory looking down at him with the same amiable smile,

"… I know that we'll meet again someday…"

- Fin -

* * *

a.n. 2: Okay people, I know that this a crappy piece of work… I personally don't really like how it was written…But I'm not planning on rewriting the whole thing and give Dee a happy ending… This was how it was planned from the start, this is how it will end in the end. 

And for those who inquired about Feign, I thank you for remembering the first fic I've ever posted. I intend to finish it but you'll have to wait. I'll be taking my exams soon. I will be the last before I graduate with a Diploma…hehe…So, it will be a while before the last few chapters will be written… Yes, I know… I'm a procrastinator… _**sigh**_

But I should be returning soon… not under the FAKE category… but elsewhere…**_wink_**

Now, to thank those who had reviewed I'll Be There for chapter 3 and 4:

**_Sakura blossoms4-san_**: Thank you for taking interest in this fic. Your support is deeply appreciated. **_smiles_**

**_NightShadow131-san_**: You've been really a great sport. Thank you for your continuous support. Though our opinions contradicted before, your support means a lot to me. I hope that you like this chapter. Since you couldn't leave an extra long review, I thought, might as well leave you an extra longer chapter…_**wink**_

**_Firgodes7-san_**: Another reviewer whom I appreciates very much. I hope that this chapter meets your expectations…**_smiles_**

**_Caitlin-chan_**: You're the reason for the fast update. Your continuous support ignites my passion to continue this crappy fic. So, this chapter goes out to you. I hope that you like it. _**smiles**_

**_ColeridgeFan-san_**: Your short but emotional messages are rather amusing at times. Though your heart goes all out for Dee, I'm very sorry if this fic disappoints you in the end. I hope that even though it's a death fic of Dee, you'd still read and share your opinion with me. **_smiles_**

**_GreenEyedFloozy-san_**: Unfortunately as you've read, Dee's not late for death, but he choose to go to his death because his love for Ryo meant much more than his own life. I hope you like my explanation on his absence.

**_Amethyst-eyed-Koneko-san_**: I don't know whether this chapter has put away your fears or brought them closer. When I received your review, I was definitely surprised by your passion for the pair. And though I know no readers would like to read of their favorite character's death, I hope that you like what I've written. _**smiles**_

**_Shirubaa Kitsune-san_**: You've repeated more than once you hate death fics, but I'm sorry that until the end I could not meet your expectations. Though Dee had died, I hope that you would still read this fic. This chapter is after all, written because there are reviewers out there like you who have supported me in writing this fic…**_bow_**

I apologize for those whom I've left out, but I thank you all the same for the time taken to review this fic. **_bow _**If you have the time after reading this fic, please take a moment to convince this baka authoress why you think that this is a good fic… because seriously, I think I've done a very bad job at writing this. I wished I could received your overwhelming comments for a work I'm satisfied with…But unfortunately, everyone seems to like this more than the other works…**_sigh_**

All in all, thank you for reading I'll Be There.

- _Kaede Yuki Yukiya (Sept. 1st, 2005)_


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